I’m and about a month ago I met this girl who instantly felt like someone special. She’s kind funny warm she’d hug me every time we met and we just clicked.
I told her I liked her and she said I mattered to her… but she only wanted to stay friends. She’s the best friend I’ve ever had but I’ve fallen for her and watching her with her guy friends hurts more than I can explain.
I’ve never met anyone like her and I honestly don’t think I ever will. Even if I do I doubt I’ll care enough to let myself feel again.
Our texts used to be amazing but lately I’ve run out of things to say and she seems less excited too. If I can’t have her as more I still want her as a friend… even if I’ll always be waiting in the background.
A friend showed me the five stages of grief and weirdly I hit acceptance first then spiraled into depression anger and back again. I act cheerful during the day but at night it all fades I feel fake and I hate myself for it.
I can’t sleep. The mask I wear all day crumbles the moment I’m alone. And the pain of pretending everything’s fine… is starting to feel unbearable.
Last updated on:2025-09-12T22:00:04+05:30
Comments (3)
you’re keeping the mask on by day, by night it breaks, wanting friendship but also waiting in the wings is wearing you down.
she told you "i mattered" and that stuck, i remember how a hug felt like permission to breathe, some nights i let myself ugly-cry then put on a dumb meme and pretended i wasn’t falling apart.
i watched her laugh with her guy friends and it felt like a punch, i wore a fake smile all day and at night i couldn’t sleep, kept refreshing her profile like a stupid ritual.