some might think im crazy and I do to but I cant control my feelings. we attend the same school, I only noticed him a couple of months ago and when I did I asked if we could go somewhere after school for a chat and we did. it was truly magical. he was what I was looking for but it didnt turn out the way I thought it would have. a few weeks went by and whenever we said goodbye or goodnight I would find myself wanting to say 8 letters 3 words. I thought I might be crazy to fall in love with a guy in the spand of a month. I think i fell more deeper because he treated me so good and I was not use to that reason being, I came out of a really toxic and a mentally abusive relationship. as more time went by he told me one day that he has a story to tell me. me being the inquisitive person that I am couldnt wait. we spent break together and thats where he told me that when we first started speaking, he still had a girlfriend but he broke up with her the following week when he saw that we were getting serious. I was confused and I was shocked. I mean who wouldnt be. throughout the day we didnt really speak about what he confessed. the next day he was really quiet and in his thoughts. I asked him if he was okay and he said yes which I obviously did not belbelive. he was very distant. we were supposed to go to our usual spot but then he said he had to go home so I just said okay and brushed it off even tho I was sad and he could see that but he didnt really do anything about it. that night he sends me a voice note of this whole situation, explaining why he was so quiet throughout the day. he said he felt guilty about cheating on his gf at the time and he was 50/50 on the situation. on the one hand he wants to end what we have but he doesnt want to hurt me and on the other hand speaking me to made him feel more guilty about cheating. it broke me. i hadnt told him that i loved him yet so it really really hurt. I did what he couldn't do and I ended it. he didnt want me the way I wanted him and I doubt he even felt the same way I did even tho I felt more. I couldnt get over the fact that he chose her and it killed me, it still is bc even tho his talking to her he still messages me saying that he misses me, he still asks how my day was and if im okay and everything and I know that comes from a good place but I coudlnt take it anymore so I ended it and started my no contact journey which is even harder because I see him ever single day at school. I don't know what to do anymore. he said she treated him badly and didnt dont the things he needed which one of the things were like physically touch which is his love language. I truly dont understand this man. his so confusing and all over the place. what do i do. i want him but he doesnt seem to want me and i have even self respect to know that I am worthy to feel wanted and I shouldnt want to be somewhere where im not wanted if that makes sense. im trying my best every day. I have by bad days and I have my good ones but I feel as if the more I go silent the more bad days I have because all I do is think about him and overthink about everything else.
Last updated on:2025-11-07T02:22:56+05:30
Comments (6)
seeing him every day must be rough. when he texts you now, do you ever feel tempted to reply, or have you been able to keep that no contact fully?
we havent contacted each other since I said no contact and its killing me but I have to keep going
the Self respect is the only thing thats keeping me away and I feel like it the right thing but its so hard especially if you are in the same building and everytime you turn around or look around his there. its like his everywhere and its killing me
it usually messes with your head when they say “i miss you” but don’t show up for you. i had to mute mine everywhere just to stop the cycle. sometimes silence feels worse before it feels better, but it’s the only way your brain starts to calm down again.
staying away is so hard. I saw him today and it was truly hell. I felt like someone is ripping my heart out over and over and like someone was choaking me. I struggled to calm down. I was constantly zoning out and I couldnt control how I was feeling.
fell for a guy right after leaving something toxic, and it felt so good at first soft, safe, what i’d been craving. then it all came crashing when i found out he wasn’t really free. that confusion you’re feeling? i remember living in that too, thinking “why did he choose her if she hurt him?” it’s awful. but the part where you said you still have self-respect that’s the piece that’s gonna save you. i promise.