I'm having so much guilt and self hate when I find myself missing him. Im trying not to beat myself up over it because I did give him 2 years of my life. I'm grieving. I just wish I could skip the pain. at this point I'm not as afraid of being hoovered as much as I am having any contact at all. I'm scared he would try everything he can to bait me into talking with him and he has tried everything. i keep telling myself I shouldn't miss him because he doesn't deserve it but I guess two things can be true. he doesn't deserve it and I can honor and grieve my history with him. the good parts I saw. the parts that made me stay. it's only been one day and I'm terrified the pain is only going to get worse. I need to stop punishing myself for having stayed, stop punishing myself for missing him when the wound is still so fresh.
Last updated on:2025-11-17T18:35:04+05:30
Comments (3)
when you say he’s tried everything to bait you, is it like love bombing or guilt messages or showing up again?
when my ex who treated me horribly finally left, i still missed him and i hated myself for it. i kept thinking “why am i grieving someone who hurt me.” but that bond… those good memories… they get tangled in the pain. nothing about what you’re feeling is wrong.
don’t blame yourself for something that makes you human. it’s normal, my grieving over the relationship hasn’t gone away even tho it ended. if he ever tries to reach out or does something while emotions are still raw, mute or block him because so that you don’t get stuck in pain