I’m going through a breakup with someone I truly believed was my soulmate. I loved him with every part of me deeply intensely and wholeheartedly. We were together for ten months and although he ended things for valid reasons the pain is still unbearable. I struggled with severe anxious attachment and my insecurities and anxiety pushed him away even though he did nothing wrong.
Now I’m barely functioning. I wake up with panic attacks every morning. I can’t work I can’t eat and I feel completely paralyzed. My mind is stuck in a loop of guilt and self-blame constantly replaying everything I think I did wrong. I’ve tried medication but I’m treatment-resistant and that makes everything feel even more hopeless.
I’m in such deep emotional pain and I don’t know how to move forward. If anyone has been through something similar I’d really appreciate hearing how you coped. How long did it take before you started feeling even a little better? How do you stop feeling so overwhelmingly depressed when nothing seems to help?
I feel broken. I just want to know if there’s a way out of this darkness.
Last updated on:2025-11-18T07:30:18+05:30
Comments (7)
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I went through this during my divorce and separation back in January. I would wake up every 2 hours covered in sweat and in full panic. I changed my shirt multiple times throughout the night. I started listening to anxiety and stress playlists at night. I still do sometimes. Just last night my anxiety was ramped up. I lost a lot of weight living in the house with him until I got out. I started eating better. Try to eat multiple small meals throughout the day. Anything that sounds good. I made sure to take my meds on time everyday, and that helped. I went on a lot of walks despite it being winter and losing weight. I reconnected with friends to get out and take my mind off it.
when you think about the panic you feel every morning, is it more about losing him or about feeling like you messed everything up?
what helped me a tiny bit was breaking the day into stupid small pieces. like “just get through the next 10 minutes.” when the guilt spirals hit, i’d literally say out loud “not right now.” it didn’t fix anything, but it stopped the spiral long enough to breathe.
I have been in that same situation and personally what I did is that I went back to him many times until I couldn't go back to him again. I brought him closer and the more I brought him closer the more I started hating him... I went back to him so many times I forgive him so many times I gave him so many chances until I had nothing else to give - until my body became tired... I don't know whether to tell you to try going back to him until you feel naturally tired and disgusted but for me that is how I maneuvered through everything...
i went through something almost identical. my anxious attachment was out of control and i pushed away the one person i thought was my forever. the guilt after the breakup was the worst part. i couldn’t breathe. couldn’t eat. woke up with that same panic every morning like my body forgot he was gone and had to relearn it every day. it took a long time for the loop to quiet down, but it did soften. you’re not crazy. you’re not broken. you’re just hurting in a very real way.
oh baby i really cannot help you here because im going through the same thing. honestly, it's hell, and when people try and tell you "you'll find someone better" or "he wasn't that great anyways" i know it does not make it better. but honestly, even though this isn't something you want to here right now, if he was the right person, he wouldn't be making you feel like this. and if you can love the wrong person this much just THINK how much you can love the right person, and how much they will love you back. that's what keeps me going, because one day, you'll want that for yourself, not just him.