So, I was the one who broke up with my ex last week, bc he cheated multiple times and I forgave him but I was still hurting so I just left, but I still actually love him really deeply.
And I broke no contact, 2 times in a week.
Like bro why am I the one always texting him? He is the one who actually f*cked up the relationship, yet I am the one texting him after I freaking broke up with him.
What is wrong with me???? Like what the hell???
When I broke no contact last time, he told me that I had to move on and that I was the woman of his life, and eventually if God let us, we will meet again.
But I don’t want a hypothetical situation, I want HIM in my future and now I’m freaking out??
Ik he was a narcissist constantly chasing after female validation and after his perfect image, but I love him so much I just forgave him everything and gave him everything. And now that I left I can’t even handle it, like he is my poison AND my medicine.
I was really depressed DURING the relationship, but omg, rn I think i’m just DYING.
I miss him, but I left, and I’m the one who still texts him about how much I love him.
I am going crazy guys, help me. Am I really going to get better? What if that cycle nevers ends? What if he doesn’t come back and I figure out I am not the woman of his life like he said? I know you can find me stupid for this bc he cheated, but I still have faith, he started being a little bit better since may.
But Idk. I’m just sad. I feel weak. I feel sick. I hate myself for this.
Last updated on:2025-12-09T23:51:57+05:30
Comments (8)
during the times he cheated and you were hurting, did he ever actually show real change? or did you mostly hold onto the hope he would?
Honestly, after I discovered everything (last may) he was a little bit better…But I don’t really know, because even if he wasn’t trying to control me as often as before he was still putting a kind of pressure on me (I actually am conditioned to not doing things he doesn’t want me to do bc I was afraid he would leave me). But I was so obsessed about the fact that he hurt me that I didn’t really focus on him changing or not…So I think that he changed, but it was because I was being mean and he just accepted that he did things wrong and let me be a little more free again…But yeah idk.
i went through the same thing with a guy who cheated and somehow i kept thinking i was the crazy one for reaching out. it’s wild how the person who breaks us becomes the one we crave. i remember feeling like i needed him just to breathe, even though he was the one who destroyed me. you’re not weak. you’re just deep in the withdrawal stage of a relationship that was half love, half pain. i promise that mix messes with your brain in ways that don’t make sense yet
He's used to you looking for him and because of this he doesn't make an effort for you. He doesn't think you'll really leave. Try to stay in no contact so he can see that he can really lose you. Write in your diary, go out, do as many activities as possible every day, even if it's hard for you, just do it. Just don't write to him. You'll only think more clearly if more time passes, otherwise you'll just go around in the same circle. I also think about writing to him every day, then I think that every time I came back I didn't see any change and he hurt me with the same ease.
But did yours came back, even if you did all those things?
I’m just scared, of loosing them.
But I don’t even think they will text me anymore. I don’t even think they will respond. I’m hurt
@GlimmerDash635 The most I've been in no contact with him for 2 weeks, then he wrote to me and made me regret answering him. Narcissists don't come back because they care about you, they come back because they want to see that you're still dependent on them, that they still have access to you, not because they love you. And the fact that they don't write to you is also a strategy, they want to make you give in, to remain confused. Believe me, sooner or later they will come back, but only to control you and not let you get over it. Focus on yourself and take more time for yourself so that you can realize everything that's happening to you.
@GlimmerDash635 I started talking to him a few years ago, I withdrew because he was toxic. During that time he would send me a message, a call, but I wouldn't answer him. A few months ago was the first time I answered him after that time, he pretended to have changed and I ended up suffering again. Now I'm in no contact again
@WavySky681 Oh…I know that he has the profile of a narcissist, but I really had this tiny hope that this is a mistake…But IK you’re right. Thank you, even if it hurts, ty for saying what I need to hear. I’m sorry that you went through this, I hope you will get better.❤️🩹