I unblocked him thinking that if he texts me I will ignore him, but at the end of the day I answered him.
I talk to him, but I am much more detached, more aware, it seems that I am slowly detaching myself from him even though we are talking, I don't feel as intense as before
What hasn't changed is the feeling in my body, my body tells me that I should stop, I feel tension in my chest and I can't breathe properly.
Most likely we will end up not talking again, but I hope that then I won't suffer anymore and I won't care when that happens.
I don't want to put pressure on myself anymore and I want to take things as they are
Am I aware that he's not right for me? Yes
Why do I keep doing it?
I don't know
But I know there will come a time when I will leave completely, naturally
If you have it on block, it's best to leave it there, no matter how capable of not responding you think you are.
What has changed between us is that now I notice the manipulation, the comparisons, sometimes the lack of sincerity
I know that the time will come when he will no longer have access to me at all, I want this to happen, but without putting pressure on myself I admit that I thought that maybe I would be able to talk to him completely detached, but it's not that simple
I don't want to stress myself anymore, I suffered a lot and I don't know why I chose to answer him, but I trust that I will manage to leave him for good someday
Last updated on:2025-12-16T02:59:03+05:30
Comments (3)
when you imagine him fully not having access to you anymore, does it feel scary… or does it feel like relief you’re not letting yourself have yet?
when my feelings felt calmer, my body was screaming NO. when i listened to that, things slowly got quieter inside. no pressure, just noticing.
this hurt to read because i’ve BEEN here. unblocking, thinking “i’m stronger now,” answering anyway. my body did the same thing. tight chest, shallow breath. that’s how i realized my nervous system knew before my brain did.