I am distgusted

Author

I've been in no contact several times, each no contact brought me clarity. A few days ago I replied to his message, I saw that I was more detached, although I had certain sensations of tension in my body.

After the conversation with him today, I can say that I ended up feeling disgusted by his behavior and his lack of empathy, I don't know how I could suffer so much from such a man. I didn't think I would use this word when it comes to him, but I actually feel disgusted

I was worried I wouldn't be able to get over him, but he proved to me for the thousandth time that I have nothing to feel sorry for!! He never deserved me and today I am more aware of that than ever. It seems unreal that I was able to go back to someone who treated me like that, but it is the biggest lesson for me

Some time ago, if I were to read what I wrote now, I wouldn't have thought it was about him. I always had doubts and saw certain red flags, but I always managed to see the good in him, I saw him as a good man who cared about me even though I didn't see any actions from him, I didn't see myself giving up on him completely.

Don't go back!!! If you know that person hasn't changed don't waste your time and energy on them!! A man who doesn't put in the effort and doesn't value you from the start, never will! He will prove to you over and over that you shouldn't have gone back

I know the problem is with me too because I attract toxic people, I need to work on that

What I experienced is really a lesson for me, I learned to stop being satisfied with just words, to stop accepting disrespect, manipulation, to know my worth, to know that I deserve more!!

Even if it was detached when we reconnected, if you are not 100% healed it can influence your condition even to a small extent and it is not worth it.

I realized that it didn't affect me anymore when I read what he wrote to me and I was like "I'm really disgusted, this man doesn't think about how I feel at all", without crying, without giving any explanations, I just said "it's over"

I don't wish him any harm, no matter what he did to me. I'm a good person and everyone will get what they deserve, I know he'll never change his behavior, but it's not my problem anymore. He won't be a part of my life anymore, it's all I can do.

Last updated on:2025-12-24T18:00:13+05:30

Comments (3)

Shygirl
Shygirl 2 mths ago

when you said “it’s over” without explaining or crying, did it feel calm inside or more like shock? like did you feel relief or just this quiet finality?

WavySky681
WavySky681 2 mths ago

I felt like I had nothing more to do, a deep disappointment.

sadteddy
sadteddy 2 mths ago

my body finally caught up before my heart did. i also went back thinking “this time i’m stronger,” and damn… seeing the lack of empathy that clearly was brutal but freeing