It's finally been essentially a month again since we spoke, I remember when you said you didn't wanna go a day without talking with me, now you couldn't care less to go a month. Finally learnt to stop chasing you, sorry it took me so long, I am genuinely sorry for that and for not giving you the space you wanted, I was just struggling, I know you don't care and hate me but yeh still coming to terms self forgiving that but I'll manage to eventually, therapy is helping massively. Thx for turning so mean last we spoke it really helped me to realise I mean nothing to you anymore, finally got the hint, sorry I struggled letting you go when you wanted space. I don't think of you as much, still about once a day or in those quiet moments but now it's not 24/7, I can enjoy myself now and time with my friends without ruminating about you while with them. I hope next month it'll be even a little less, I think it will. Still healing but that's life and I can't make you wanna be with me, love me or not hate me and I've accepted that. See you in 60 days.
Last updated on:2025-12-23T21:49:44+05:30
Comments (8)
when you say “see you in 60 days,” do you mean actual contact, or is that more like a mental checkpoint for yourself to see how far you’ve come?
Mental Checkpoint, I'm not breaking NC after last time getting spewed with venom. I mean I'm a young stupid love struck idiot going through his first breakup and who struggled with boundaries but like I said I've learned. Reaching out is just gonna cause me more pain, get met with anger, reset healing again and hell worst case get me hit with a restraining order or a harassment case which I don't really need in my life. It's more of a mental checkpoint cause I consider 30 days a month and using it as small celebrations yk of my own restraint and learning self worth and respect. Also think like a month is a considerable amount of time so yeh looking forward to going strong and making it another month.
what you wrote sounds like real progress, even if it doesn’t feel like it yet. when i stopped chasing and let the quiet exist, that’s when my nervous system finally calmed down a bit. therapy helped me too. you’re not weak for how long it took.
Hey thanks for this, yeh I've realised I was just a guy dealing with his first breakup struggling, there's been thousands before me who have and done worse (like showing up at their home or etc (though no judgement for those who have)) and all I did was break NC 3 times cause I was struggling and did what I thought I had to in the moment even if it was dumb and idiotic looking back. I still feel somewhat guilty and like I ruined my chances of reconciliation but coming to terms with it.
i’ve been exactly here, apologizing for wanting closeness from someone who was already gone. that moment when they turn cold and it finally clicks… yeah. brutal, but it cracked something open for me too
Thanks for your comment, yeh my ex wanted space after the breakup and left the future open with possibilities and really beat myself up for my behaviour at the end. Realised now she was already gone and not coming back etc. Also yeh the minute she dehumanised me and was mean to me it all kinda clicked, realised how little I meant to her now. Hell during the breakup she asked me to not make it difficult which hurts to think back on now.
I have a question, how long did it take you to accept the truth? or what are some things you did to accept it?
mines recently told me he didn't love me, care and he also is talking to a new girl.
but my heart wont accept that its really over and im not schedule for therapy until next year
Hey totally understand that struggle and coming to terms with it. For me to come to terms with it took a very long time, I mean acceptance isn't easy we're essentially grieving someone who's still alive. What helped me was like I said how mean they became. Like my ex dehumanised me and everything calling me a dog and I would never in a million years speak to her the way she did to me and that's when it clicked for me. It's totally normal though for our hearts to still want them I mean I still miss my ex even if I've accepted she's not coming back. Acceptance isn't not missing them it's just acknowledging the reality of the situation. On top of that something that helped is looking at it and saying why the hell would I wanna be with someone who can talk to me like that. Why waste my time chasing or worrying about someone who to them I'm about as important as a dirty tissue when I can spend the time with people or caring about people who actually care about me. The same night she told me she hates me and turned nasty and rude, a friend of mine told me about how much I meant to him and had helped prevent him from commiting su**ide and done so much for him and damn that made me feel 10 feet tall. Again acceptance isn't easy, but don't chase, all you're doing is lowering yourself in their eyes and your own, turning your self worth to Ash, looking desperate and needy and opening yourself up for abuse. You'll get their in the end, time helps.