COVERT NARCISSIST

I want to talk about my experience with a covert narcissist.

There are some people who literally drive you crazy, they have moments when they are strategically vulnerable, to make you feel sorry for them.

In any situation they are the victims, there is no situation in which they cannot come out as victims, even if in reality it is not so.

If you write them long paragraphs that make sense to anyone, and explain to them what they did wrong to you, that's the biggest mistake. They'll turn the whole paragraph against you and you'll end up believing you're guilty, and even apologizing. You will receive insults like you're crazy, you're exaggerating, you're wrong.

Another thing I've noticed is that they are vindictive, if you say "no" to something they want, they will retaliate with little things like "how good that girl looks" or manage to contradict you on other topics up to the silent treatment.

The silent treatment is formed in several stages, first they test you. If he ignores you for a short period and then when he comes back you forgive him immediately and see that you had a hard time without him, he starts using silence as a weapon in the future, increase the periods of silence instead of confronting you. They want to create confusion, to make you think "he gave up on me?, is it my fault?, did I overreact?" and then come back.

Also about revenge, they will do all the things you told them that bother you and once they find out your weaknesses they will attack you with them.

They will NEVER admit they were wrong, and if they do, it's pure strategy.

After an argument in which they lost their temper, they offended you and you got angry, they will come back as if nothing happened, as if they did nothing wrong.

The words "I miss you" and "I love you" are only said to maintain control over you, they emphasize words and not actions.

At first, they will often look for you after a fight to create addiction and so that in the future you will wait for their message which will come less and less often, almost not at all, to create uncertainty. This happens when you come back very often, when you tell them "it's over", but you still come back to them, they think you will never leave.

In the first few months they abstain a lot, they give you non-stop attention, compliments, they don't argue with you when you tell them something, then when you become addicted they start to insult you, they don't care how you behave anymore because they are convinced that there's no way you can leave and make the most of it.

You end up not knowing what reality is anymore, asking yourself "if it hurts me, why do I still want it? I even want it more".

You end up saying "enough, it's over, I can't accept this anymore", but after a very short time you want him back, you check to see if he wrote to you, you want to write to him yourself with the hope that he will change, then you are disappointed for the 100th time when you see that he does the same thing to you.

You end up telling them "you're hurting me", "you're making me cry", "it hurts" and they have no empathy for you, they feed on your suffering instead of stopping.

Any kind of attention you give them makes them happy because they still have access to you. The only solution is no contact, block.

They are very, very sensitive to criticism, they can't stand it being their fault, they don't think like normal people, they will never understand you.

Your body tells you that those people are hurting you, your stomach hurts, you have palpitations, you feel tension in your chest, you become drained of energy, listen to your body.

They become obsessed with something they didn't have completely, with people they didn't fool 100% and they ALWAYS COME BACK. It doesn't matter if it's been a few months, if it's been years, they will always show up with a message, a call with a hidden number, with fake accounts to see if they still have control.

The process of detachment is very difficult, you have thousands of states a day, from longing to hatred, from happiness to anger and the longer you stay the harder it will be. You reach a state where you don't want to do anything anymore, you only think about him, you have insomnia, you become effectively obsessed with a man who hurts you.

They are extremely insecure people, they need you to validate them constantly, they only pretend to be proud of them, but they have an extremely fragile ego and if you are not interested they will get angry.

Be careful!!!

Last updated on:2026-01-05T21:04:03+05:30