How to stop ruminating and quiet my mind?

Author

Any advice to stop ruminating, my head recently for some reason feels like a constant tornado of thoughts of "what if's" and thinking over every single mistake in the relationship I made trying to figure out which one was the nail in the coffin, replaying the major fight we had a month before and despite my ex saying it wasn't my fault and I did nothing wrong I can't stop trying to figure out how I lost her.

Last updated on:2026-01-05T20:39:03+05:30

Comments (10)

Heartache
Heartache 2 mths ago

when your head spins with all these “what ifs,” do you notice a particular time of day or trigger that makes it worse?

soulLeft
soulLeft 2 mths ago

i kept rewinding every fight with my ex, thinking ONE thing ruined everything. took me weeks to realize it wasn’t about me it just ended.

CM07
CM07 2 mths ago

I started reading my books again. Get lost in another world for a while. I've been doing the same. Those what ifs scenarios will kick you when you're already down. Tomorrow will be 4 weeks since he left. I feel way better than I did at day 1 but I'm nowhere near healed. I'm waiting on appointments to start therapy. To heal. To move forward. Not just from him, I have other things I need to heal from and find peace with (cancer). Chin up. It will get easier, for all of us.

WildBeats945
WildBeats945 2 mths ago

She's right its not your fault. People grow and change and eventually get to a point where they feel like they've outgrown their partner. Most times this isn't true and a person who values commitment or truly cares for their partner won't fall for it. Those who are less, typically push their way out of that relationship, leaving the other person feeling like they did wrong.

NeonJet197
NeonJet197 2 mths ago

thank you for this, just struggling cause I told a stupid white lie the month before and after that the relationship turned to Ash slowly.

HappyWander533
HappyWander533 2 mths ago

Hey, definetely do something like studying for ur next exams, if its ur case or watch many series or films, while doing something else, like gaming or drawing. if u study, obv without ur phone and maybe with music on, thats really helpful. specially if u have adhd its the best to focus, if u dont, at the beginning it might be stressful or somethig, but if u entertain ur brain with many things at the same time, physical things, there is not much time to think about other stuff. I hope it helps❤️

NeonJet197
NeonJet197 2 mths ago

thank for this advice, will try my best, just hits ig in those quiet moment when I'm alone. Like I've accepted the relationship is over but now I feel like someone standing in their burned down house trying to figure out if the left the stove on.

BrightVib744
BrightVib744 2 mths ago

my brain keeps on replaying old moments but apparently thats what our brains do when dopamine is lost (the happy hormone). you dont miss them you miss the chemicals your body released around them

minion1388
minion1388 2 mths ago

yesss, it's good to find things that make your body release the same hormones, like playing games or eating good food, hanging out with friends or family

it really helps

NeonJet197
NeonJet197 2 mths ago

Thank you for the insight, yeh ig it's also trying to control an uncontrollable situation. Like trying to blame myself so then I feel like I have control cause if it's something I did wrong I can fix it