Still in such deep hurt, not sure what way to go. But I'm keeping busy, pretty exhausted, but functioning. Being so tired is not helping the feels, a d I'm still on the deep wonder of why. I don't think closure is going to happen here and that makes it worse, i absolutely don't want to keep fighting, thats been life so far, and for a brief time the fight had breaks, now its worse than ever.
Last updated on:2026-01-06T08:48:16+05:30
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when you say you’re tired of fighting, what does “rest” look like for you right now, even a small version of it?
I don't see a distant future, I barely see tomorrow. I'm taking 18 hour shifts just to keep busy, and all I can tell myself is somehow make it to another day. For some reason thats getting harder too
sometimes i stopped trying to understand it all and just focused on getting through the next hour. not healing, just surviving. that was enough for a while
that's where I'm at, and honestly I don't wanna survive. I've had a lot of loss a tragedy and ik more is coming because how could it not
i remember functioning on fumes like this. staying busy just to survive the day, exhausted but still wondering WHY every quiet moment. that lack of closure made everything feel heavier, like the fight never actually ended.
I only see one end to this right now. I'm smart enough to know other options exist, but those will probably end the same way too
and every moment feels worse than the one before