I just want to talk about what I did after my ex left me and how poorly it's affected me. After my ex left she had left her YouTube logged in so I took a few days to delete personal playlists that can't be recovered. After that she made a video about it so I made an alt account to comment calling myself an awful person she later found out that account was me. I hate that I wish we could still somehow get back together but that would end so poorly for the both of us even before I had gone crazy.
Last updated on:2026-01-12T01:25:51+05:30
Comments (14)
you say you wish you could get back together, is it about her specifically, or about wanting relief from the guilt and chaos that came after she left
the relief for sure. there were things in the relationship that I'm coming to terms with that I should never have been ok with.
heartbreak can make you do things you’d NEVER do when regulated. owning it without self-destruction took time.
i did stuff after my breakup that i’m not proud of either. reacting from pain and abandonment makes you act out in ways that don’t even feel like you. i still cringe thinking about it
Thanks for sharing. I just hope someday I can laugh or cringe without this immense guilt. I don't think it helps she constantly told me I was the first person to treat her well. I didn't want to be just another shitty ex but I was so angry.
So did u just wake up and go crazy on your own with no outside influence? Just went nuts, no contributing factors? No other persons feeding into your instability? Oh wait, you didn't just lose your s--- in a vacuum of only you, you had an ex inflict considerable damage to your psyche. You did what you did, own it, but realize you only carry the responsibility for reacting to the situation, you didn't create it. So many of us feel guilt, shame and a bunch of other destructive emotions that we take on ourselves when in reality there was a whole nother person involved. Don't be proud of what you did but don't you dare internalize that blame, thats shared, own that reality too.
Thank you I think I needed to hear that. more than I anything I just hate that I felt so much rage in those two moments I did something I don't think I ever would have normally done. But I did and that's something I'm coming to terms with.
@FrostTap672 I'm still raging, its not fun. If I could end it I would. People often tell us what to do or not to do when feeling it, but bring stupid in love with someone and raging on them for hurting you all at the same time, thats unsustainable. Through your revenge you got to break that and develop guilt, its actually a good thing. Your soul is now open to other emotions, and you will eventually get to a new place.
well things happens
dont. be a bigger person. they will shame themselves eventually
I tried but after everything the rage I felt was just so much. I'm not proud of any of this. I just wish I didn't feel like that at the time.
yes and you will be there, 3 weeks, 8 months, 10 years, whenever that shame hits you'll be there to be able to say to yourself "well they had that coming" and move on knowing that they did themselves in. Wait, that was a complete fantasy, there is no magic "they're gonna get theirs" Human beings require a sense of control over their own destiny to function its a 100 percent how our brains are built down to the most basic level. You took control, definitely not in the healthiest way, but today you feel guilt for what you did. Before you set out your get revenge could you even see yourself feeling guilt about anything with your ex?
Thats childish! If you really loved them let go
yeah not my proudest moment.