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I have been having nightmares

My ex and I had a complex situation going on and he basically tore down my self esteem and shredded it to bits. he constantly compared me to this girl and I eventually developed such crippling anxiety

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I relapsed

so my ex and I broke up a year ago because he constantly compared me to this other girl and I finally broke up with him after we flirted with her numerous times however I still forgave him and we cont