so i (27m) met this girl (27) a few yrs ago in lA but we only started talking regularly like 5 yrs ago

so i (27m) met this girl (27) a few yrs ago in lA but we only started talking regularly like 5 yrs ago. from the start she lovebombed me so i was kinda sus. my mom told me to try dating her anyway since i never had a relationship before and it'd be good experience. so after talking for 2 yrs on messenger i went to cuba to visit her. everything was great we vibed (and yeah great sex too) but when i got back i realized she was super clingy and i started losing feelings. she kept telling me how hard life was in cuba how she couldn’t wait to see me and that she wanted to spend forever w me. a few months later i broke up w her and she was pissed. i told her it was bc we were culturally different (but tbh that was bs). the second i did it i regretted it and told her a few weeks later. she was confused since i was the one who ended it and she called me immature and said i didn’t appreciate what i had.
one thing abt her is she’d text me every morning asking if i slept well if i ate how my day was going. she also sent me tons of pics vids and long ass love messages. she wasn’t 100% honest w me sometimes but she did make me feel good. a few weeks after i said i regretted ending things she said we could stay friends. then she asked me for money to leave lA. i told her no that was inappropriate. she tried to guilt trip me by saying how much i hurt her by refusing. a few months later she managed to leave lA and get to london. she started sending me pics from there keeping me updated. after a while i told her she looked amazing and then she started bringing up how bad i hurt her and tried to understand why i dumped her. we had a long convo abt it and decided to give it another shot.
she made it to the usa a few weeks later and from then on i visited her every month. for 3 months we vibed, did a bunch of fun stuff in nyc. but she kept asking for money for groceries phone bills a debt from her trip and a gym membership. i helped w some of it since she didn’t have a work permit but was trying to get a job. after 3 months she started acting distant. in june i told her i’d visit for a week instead of just a weekend and she said i should come for the weekend instead bc of a supposed immigration appointment (prob just didn’t wanna see me).
anyway i went and the second i picked her up i knew smth was off. she gave me the cheek instead of a kiss was quiet the whole way to the airbnb sat on the couch instead of next to me in bed. at night she cuddled me but when i tried to get intimate she turned away. next day she left to pick up her welfare check and before leaving she kissed me. later i ran into her randomly and when i tried to kiss her again she gave me the cheek. back at the airbnb i made dinner for both of us but she still felt distant. after dinner i asked if she was ok and she started talking abt her problems and how she needed space. then she hit me w the classic idk when i’ll be ready for a relationship again (aka it’s over). she didn’t say anything else so i straight up asked if she wanted to leave. she said yes. she left.
it’s been six months.
right after she left i cried like a baby in the airbnb.
3 weeks later i texted asking why she didn’t break up w me before i came. she said she thought seeing me would make her feel better. bs. i went no contact after that.
i feel way better now. moved out of my parents house started going to the gym read a ton of self-improvement books took singing lessons tried to start a band working on my own solo music. i don’t feel like i need to be w her anymore but i’m still working on moving forward w/o closure. lowkey still mad she moved on so fast.
i already know what y’all are gonna say she used you for money should’ve cut contact after the first breakup. yeah you’re right. but she wasn’t all bad. she actually called out some things abt my behavior and personality that i needed to fix. so even tho she treated me like shit she still helped me grow.

Last updated on:2025-02-02T15:13:57+05:30