Yesterday, my son (who’s 14 and in Iceland on school trip) text me to say his dad hadn’t texted him whatsoever apart from the first day he had got there- sending one single text of motivation. He had been on the trip for 6 days and there was no text from him to say.. love you or are you okay? His dad said sorry, but when I explained how it had upset Jack, he continually justified why he chose to not text (due to leaving him to enjoy his holiday) and that he ‘wasn’t feeling unloved, or uncared for because he didn’t specifically say that in words’ this has caused a big arguement and I have reached a conclusion that he is unable to truly put himself in others shoes. All I was expecting as a mother, was to hear something more heart felt. Asking how my son was feeling, making him feel more appreciated. I ended up getting so angry and upset and said a lot. I then felt the need to apologise for word choices, but realised how unhappy it is making me to see his even subtle defensiveness and inability to acknowledge that my son had texted me clearly becusee he was dissapointed. Now I am single again, and I’ve cried a lot today. Have two children together and feel so numb. He seemed happy to split my younger sons Birthday date in half, rather than actually solving the issue. I gave him all morning to try and work together with me, but he argues and rebates for hours. I’ve cried so much today :( :(
Last updated on:2025-08-01T02:30:04+05:30
Comments (3)
he sounds more focused on proving a point than listening. if your son reached out to you, that says enough.
i remember that kind of sadness. when you're crying and he's just... fine. it’s not fair how much you’re holding, especially with kids in the mix.
mine used to argue in circles too. always thought his reasons were more important than how i felt. i’d end up apologizing just to move on. still mad about how much that wore me down.