I work with my ex and the other day was our first time working together in ages. We'd been no contact for 3 weeks prior. I wasn't going to straight up advoid my ex but let them have space at work. Instead I've been getting mixed signals in my head since that day because my ex was the one who kept approaching and talking to me. They asked how I was doing and what I've been upto. At times it felt a little bit like they would follow me around and try to find something to talk about. They would often stand near me of we were in the same area. I'm trying to not think into it too much that they might still have feelings for me. They were the one that broke up with me because they said they didn't love me anymore. So it'll feels weird that they're trying to be close. I'm working with them again tomorrow and I'm going to let the day go to see what happens. Maybe I can then get a better reading on what they're feeling?
Last updated on:2025-11-26T18:27:03+05:30
Comments (4)
when you were working together, did they ever actually say anything that hinted at wanting to reconnect, or was it more like small talk and hanging around? sometimes the tone of the conversation says more than the words.
in these situations was reminding myself that his actions don’t automatically mean his feelings changed. sometimes people just want comfort or familiarity. try to keep your emotional distance a bit tomorrow so you’re not reading into every little thing.
my ex did the same thing at work like acting super “normal” and chatty after telling me he didn’t love me anymore. it messed with my head so bad because the energy didn’t match the breakup at all. i remember thinking maybe he wanted me back but really he just wanted to feel less guilty. your confusion makes total sense.
I'm in the same situation. it can all be really confusing and a song & dance of being friendly & civil, but not too close for comfort. if you find you guys are working more frequently together, a boundary talk would probably help. my ex is also the one that broke up for me and he tells me if I'm overstepping. I listen without judgement or mixing my own personal feelings in and I try my best to follow those boundaries as closely as I can—if they respect you like I respect him, they'll listen.
one thing people here that have been through similar situations gave me to me as advice is make sure whilst having a work relationship with them that you're not treating them softer or any differently than your other coworkers. while you're interacting with them, ask yourself if you would talk to another coworker the same way or, alternatively, if they're talking to you like they would another coworker.
overall, if it makes you uncomfortable or if it's stunting your healing, don't be afraid to set boundaries. I wish you the best of luck!