I grew up with my grandmother since I was seven because my parents separated. I’ve always felt alone, like everyone will eventually leave me. Can you tell me what love is without me sabotaging myself? I'm tired of being so desperate that I tolerate actions that hurt me just to fill the void. I feel so empty and confused, and I have no peace. It has even come to the point where I feel I must hurt others back just so they can't take advantage of me. I feel like relationships just aren't for me.
Last updated on:2026-02-23T18:16:03+05:30
Comments (4)
when you start wanting to push someone away or hurt them first, what’s happening right before that? is it something they did, or is it that old fear of “they’re gonna leave anyway” getting loud again?
i grew up feeling like i was the “extra” kid too. parents split, got passed around, and i learned real quick that people leave. so i’d cling… or i’d sabotage first so they couldn’t. same pattern. it’s exhausting living in survival mode all the time
love, for me, started changing when i realized it didn’t feel like panic. it felt steady. boring sometimes. SAFE. and i had to unlearn the idea that chaos = connection. you’re not broken for craving love. you just learned it in a storm
🥺
Some people treat relationships as a space where they find themselves and others treat it as a space to escape. It can both be it and neither of those things. The question should rather be what do you want your take away to be from love? Love is the one thing everyone always writes about. Movies, shows, songs, literature and even some video games. But only you can truly define it for yourself. For me, my personal view. It's like kindness. It's something you do without expecting a return. It just is. Love is something unique to every person you could ever meet because you can't ever love any two people the same. But it's something you do when you care enough to try and be better, not just for them but for yourself too. It's not flawless and it's not always easy but it's something you keep at because it feels worth it to you. The issue with loving someone is if you don't love yourself you can't love another either. Because you'll sacrifice, take hits and break more than you deserve unable to draw a line. So before anyone seeks love they should think about what love means to them and how they can love themselves. Because only once you can love yourself you'll know the lines you can draw and what you're looking for from another.