So me and my ex broke up in May of 2024. We lived together for 8 months, 2025 we moved but the whole year, as I tried to talk to him and repair, he pushed away, but kept breadcrumbing me. This year I started off strong and have stayed NC for 83 days.
He's a dismissive avoidant. When we were together there were so many times he told me something didn't feel right, even went to doctors to find out what could be causing alot of how he was dealing with issues. He has literally done so many things and has given legit signs of a poasbile come back from all the researchI've done, even breadcrumbed me when I blocked him.
Should I just give up on him? His family still love me and contact me on a regular basis to make sure im okay. (He didnt leave me in the best circumstances but ive been standing on my own two feet ever since.)
I still love him and care for him deeply. We were together for such a long time, I don't want to give up on him. I've learned so much about him, so much about myself from this break up. I know change and repair can't come unless 2 people are working on it, and as of now on his part, he isn't. I wouldn't even take him back if he didn't come to me with repair, so the logical answer would be to move on but it's so hard.
I know im healing and growing from this, but my heart is still with him. Should I change that mindset? Not waiting for him, more of if the opportunity came and he did come back with repair. Is that a bad place to be?
Last updated on:2026-03-31T21:32:02+05:30
Comments (12)
you feel like holding onto that “maybe someday” is helping you move forward, or is it quietly keeping you tied to him still?
Its a mix, I do believe it could happen, ive been right about everything hes doing so far, so there's a part of me thst feels comfort in that, but its definitely keeping me stuck in who ive been for a year in a half, questioning if this ever really ment anything to him, and the bottom line for me is im just emotionally drained.
i’ve been there with the breadcrumbing and the “almost coming back” signs, it keeps you stuck in this loop where you never fully let go. i stayed like that for months, half healing, half waiting, and it drained me more than the breakup itself 💔
THIS. I feel like if I started NC once it was a done deal, things would be very different for me right now. I already got the clarity I needed but kept going back to the source of the pain.
Why wait for him to correct his ways? Life is finite. Go make yours, live yours now, without him. Waiting means you're not available for others, confident, loving people. I know it's hard, but move on. Every day, one step forward without him. One day, you will take a step and his hurt will be gone.
This made me cry and sit with for a bit. Thank you.
@xoxoboi You can do this. Today help me, I go swimming. Find an exercise you can do to vent this stress. It does help. I come from the pool feeling calm.
I am so proud of and impressed by you staying out of it for so many days. I think if someone has shown you they will leave when things get hard, believe them the first time. I did not and it felt even worse when my ex left the second time!
Thank you so much, its been a roller coaster ride. Some days im fine and others, like yesterday, I cried and listened to a song we would jam to when we would go on family/ road trips. Once it was over, I just got back up and went back to enjoying my night. Even that shocked me, that I didnt spiral. That is also something that terrifies me too, if we did end up working it out, he would do this to me again and I dont think id survive it a second time. I love him so much but I'm learning to love myself more. I blocked him on socials, left his families Life360, its a LONG story, and have been creating new structures in my life, career, physical/emotionally, every part of me that needs working on. I just hate I know the best decision is to let him go. 😔
good
that a nice move seeking your self…
You deserve somebody who’s willing to try for you and who will wait just like you. Even if he’ll fix it, you guys will always have issues pointing to his avoidance. There are people out there and you deserve better. I know it’s hard but you need to move on.