Today feels very different. I feel enlightened, charged, a weight that's fallen off my back. Ready for whatever life has to bring. I can really sit back. Look at what I went through with him, before and after the breakup, and realize that none of this has been healthy.
Attachment style or not, hes been manipulative. Hes been neglectful. It hurts, to understand that hes gone. To understand that he couldn't give to the relationship in the ways it needed. If he had only tried and fought for it, after everything we've been through.
I think that realization is just another part of the healing process. It wasn't that I wasn't good to him, compatible or worth it, I know I was far from perfect, but I tried, I wanted my life with him, but his limitations were the catalyst to what caused all of this to fall apart.
I love him, can still say I love him, after everything. Maybe today is just a good day, I mean it is day 85 of NC, but I really do feel deep down that today marks a huge shift for me. It doesnt matter if he comes back, if he's talking to someone new, or even if he's thinking about me, it just doesnt matter to me. I know I deserved better then to be discarded. I know my heart and the love I provided was the gem he'll never get back.
Here's to praying this feeling sticks. 🙏
Last updated on:2026-03-31T12:05:42+05:30
Comments (12)
what was the moment or thought that made it finally shift for you like this?
Waking up for me, no more spiraling thoughts of trying to figure him out, just doing life without him in it. Peace.
hitting that point in no contact where it just CLICKED, like wait… this actually wasn’t love in the way i needed, it was me holding it all together alone. that mix of peace and grief at the same time, yeah i’ve been there
Exactly. đź’Ż
Well done. Realizing you deserve better and you don't want to go back is a huge step forward.
keep going, you so far
This post brought me to tears. You deserve so much more. And I am so happy that you are at this place.
And if you being at this place moves me to tears, I wonder what it will feel like when I get to this place
Thank you so much, and you will get here! Please remember to take things one day at a time. KNOW that you won't be perfect some days, and others you'll really get hit by it all, dont expect when the feeling will fade, just ride them and remind yourself that it will pass, because it does. Everyday is you building a new you, I like to think of it like crafting your own armor and becoming stronger.
keep going đź©·
I hope I feel like you at Day 85. At Day 34 for me there is still sadness. The hurt is mostly gone but quiet, blanketing sadness remains.
I almost came back here to say nvm im feeling it again, but you described it perfectly, "blanketing saddness."
Yes you can do whatever you want to do,,,,lookin back the things and actions that you have been went through with him you will realize how lovable you are