10 days of no contact with my ex, it’s very up and down but it’s getting easier to detach and let go. Things I’ve learned so far: I realise I was always holding onto the version of him I fell in love with in the beginning, but the harsh reality is he became someone I didn’t even recognise anymore. I kept thinking I needed closure or an apology, the fact he knew what he was doing would hurt me and did it anyways IS all the closure I need. ❤️ good luck everyone xoxo
Last updated on:2025-09-04T18:26:02+05:30
Comments (10)
reading this felt familiar. i also realized i was in love with an old version, not the one who stood in front of me at the end. letting myself see that was painful but freeing too.
i remember thinking if he just says sorry i’ll be fine but even when he did it felt fake. he wasn’t that guy anymore, just a stranger who knew how to cut deep.
yup I feel the exact same way, if he were to ever come back and apologise, it would feel like nothing, no amount of an apology could ever make up for what he put me through
SAME! He left me 3 weeks ago and I had the exact same realization. The first 4 months he treated me like a queen, but then things went downhill pretty fast... In the end he was a complete different person. Putting on a different face every day... I also learned a bunch about avoidant attachment and it made me realize that I never was the problem even if he tried to blame me for various things. I was close to losing my sanity!
You're doing great! And you're stronger than you think! ❤️
yes! attachment styles play such a role, and actually in fact since we’ve broken up he’s made it so easy to stay right away from him with his behaviour since the seperation, jumping right into every distraction he possibly can, and spiraling down a track I tried to keep him from, but the thing about those distractions is once the distractions wear off, it’ll hit them all at once when they least expect it but by that time you will have already done the work and moved on with your life. someone’s behaviour and actions after a break up shows you who people really are. 3 weeks is amazing tho sis. keep it up! ❤️
@Adriennexo Wow, it's so funny how alike they are... My ex went on every single dating app just one day after the break up. Talking about distractions... To be honest, I wasn't even surprised. He thrives on the attention.
I booked a solo trip to Greece yesterday 🥰 The trip is in 3 weeks! It's my motivation now to keep up the NC.
Today I am already at the point where I am sure that I don't want him back. The last 2 months of the relationship were horrible. He couldn't even call me his gf anymore...
I hope you also have nice things planned for yourself! We know we can treat ourselves better than these guys ever could.
Girl, you're killing it! 10 days of no contact and you're already getting some major clarity. I love how you're recognizing that you were holding onto this perfect image of him, but the reality was way different. And honestly, the fact that he knew he'd hurt you and did it anyway? That's some real closure right there. You're doing so good, and I'm proud of you for focusing on yourself and moving forward. Keep slaying this healing journey, you're almost there!
thank you so much, it’s amazing what your mind takes you through after a bad break up, I realised so much, like that I had a trauma bond, and I think that’s the hardest part about it to break, but I’d rather hurt myself with the silence and being apart than deal with that all again
but thank you so much 🥺 it’s hard sometimes but I’m finding a lot of peace in the silence and I’m finally loving myself again
@Adriennexo I am also faced loneliness without him