I broke up at the end of November/December. It was a pretty toxic relationship; he was too controlling, he humiliated me, and he always made me feel guilty. I left him because after the fourth time I gave him a chance to change, nothing happened; in fact, things got worse. These past months have been really tough for me. I'm also dealing with a lot of my past issues in addition to the breakup, and I'm trying to move on with all my strength. I met a guy who's a friend of my group. And since January, something has been going on. I just don't know if I'm starting this relationship out of my own unconscious needs or because it could be something real. I'm not over my ex yet, as he also keeps breaking off contact. With this new guy, I alternate between moments of happiness and total apathy. For many things, my ex comes back to mind, because maybe we did similar things together. I don't know what to do, whether this can help me or just make my mental state worse. Any advice?
Last updated on:2026-03-08T00:24:56+05:30
Comments (7)
update: I found out he's been seeing his ex several times and they've had s*x 🥲🥲🥲
i think that it’s a rebound and u will unconsciously hurt someone, i intend to have one too but i scare of breaking other heart
i think that it’s a rebound and u will unconsciously hurt someone, i intend to have one too but i scare of breaking other heart
you’re with this new guy, do you feel calm and safe in your body… or more distracted from the pain? that difference told me a LOT.
i had to be brutally honest with myself about whether i was looking for comfort or connection. sometimes i just wanted someone to prove i wasn’t “too much” like my ex made me feel.
i left a controlling ex too, gave him chance after chance, and every time he just got worse. when i met someone new, i was all over the place. one day butterflies, next day numb. my brain kept replaying my ex like muscle memory. it’s exhausting
at this point, you're going through a brokenhearted, so your Brain is collapsed and confused. Unconsciously, " you're looking for -to fill that emotional void from the breakup-, that's reason you feel happiness -apathy, you're no prepared to a new relationship, maybe youre only looking for is a place, a refuge where you can forget your last events... so be prudent..