Why did i fall for someone who wasn't available?

Author

I recently got involved with a boy who became very intense very quickly he said “I love you” repeatedly, gave me constant attention, and got emotionally and somewhat sexually involved with me, including asking for pictures and making suggestive comments. I got deeply attached and started acting very loyal and invested, even adjusting my behavior like I completely stopped eating and over-grooming myself to look like the “perfect girlfriend” and gain his validation. However, he later told me that he is still trying to move on from another girl and is not able to develop real feelings for me, despite everything he said and did. This contradiction between his words and actions has left me feeling used, confused, and emotionally overwhelmed. It has triggered severe anxiety and panic attacks for me, especially since I already struggle with obsessive compulsive disorder, generalised anxiety disorder, panic disorder and recently got out of depression. I feel hurt, betrayed, and ashamed that I trusted him and allowed myself to get so involved with someone who was not emotionally available.

Last updated on:2026-04-06T07:00:50+05:30

Comments (8)

ashdump
ashdump 3 days ago

do you feel like he gave you real space to choose, or did it feel like he rushed you into something before you even had time to think?

DashTu402
DashTu402 9 hrs ago

i genuinely feel he rushed things.

Flybri080
Flybri080 3 days ago

i get how shaken you feel, that kind of intensity pulls you in fast.

DashTu402
DashTu402 9 hrs ago

yeahhh

PetlovDD
PetlovDD 3 days ago

i’ve been there with someone who came on SO strong then pulled back and said they weren’t ready. i remember feeling used and questioning myself so much after, like how did i fall for that. you didn’t deserve that switch up at all

DashTu402
DashTu402 9 hrs ago

thankyou. you didn't deserve that either

maria000
maria000 3 days ago

it’s not your fault. you believed he genuinely wanted you, but in reality he was just using you to distract himself from someone else, even if only for a little while. you deserve someone who truly loves you and chooses you every time, not just when it’s convenient for them, and one day, you will find that person.

DashTu402
DashTu402 9 hrs ago

i appreciate it. thank you