after two years together my partner told me he can’t do long distance anymore and wants someone who lives where he is. for most of our relationship we were semi long distance i’d spend months in his country then time apart then travel together.
last summer we tried living between both places to see what life together would really feel like. he moved to my country and lived with me but winter hit hard for him no work no community and he ended up going back home earlier than planned. i was supposed to join him soon after once my lease ended.
right before i was about to go he told me he doesn’t want to keep doing distance or splitting time anymore. he wants to stay rooted where he is. he didn’t ask me to move but after thinking about it i offered to come and build a life there with him because i don’t want to lose us.
the hard part is he doesn’t believe me. he thinks i’ll end up unhappy or resentful even though i’ve told him i genuinely see a life there for myself too. for me to stay long term we’d need to get married within six months and i told him i’m ready for that.
now i’m just waiting to talk again this weekend while he figures out what he wants. i can tell he’s overwhelmed so i’m giving him space but it’s hard sitting here not knowing if he’s going to choose us or walk away.
Last updated on:2026-04-06T15:23:03+05:30
Comments (3)
i offered to move too, fully ready to change my whole life just to keep us, and it still didn’t land for him. that feeling of “i’m literally choosing you, why isn’t that enough” really stays with you
I definitely had those worries when my partner moved to be with me. I was also scared the move wouldn’t work out for one reason or another. He was very adamant that his priority was to be with me through the whole process. The most you can do is just say you are ready to stay and it is what you want.
The fastest way for you to close the gap is if he proposed marriage. He didn’t do that and wanted to break up instead. So that’s your answer.