So I usually don't post anything but I just needed to get this off my chest.
I dated my ex for 2 years and 4 months. Things ended such in a cold way. I was in class and I remember I looked at my phone hoping it was him and in fact it was him but it wasn't what I thought it'd be. He said he liked someone else and my heart felt like it was being ripped apart, tears started to come off as I read the message. I couldn't believe it.
Just a week ago he looked just fine we even celebrated his birthday I gave him a perfume and a drawing. By that time his eyes were still sparkling or so I thought they were, I honestly thought that everything was normal we even kissed like usually. So what happened? Why did he cut me off as if I was nothing to him? Why did he even invited me to his birthday..?
We shared a lot of things, we liked a lot of things, we were each other's moral support, we had a similar humor, he used to take me out for dinners and everything, we did almost everything together and we shared similar wounds.
It was so weird because during quite a long time he was intense and eventually he was the opposite.
We had one break-up before. He told me pretty hurtful things that I can't remember because of my brain, I just remember that he exploded and took everything out on me. But in less than a week he came back begging me for my forgiveness. He told me he would change, that he would go to therapy to solve his issues, that he just exploded with me because of a lot of external things that happened, that he wasn't doing good with his parents, that he was feeling very insecure, that sometimes he had suicidal thoughts and was afraid of becoming a nobody in the future. He also told me that I was the best thing that ever happened to him, that he was a foolish for letting me go and that he could be himself around me, he even said that he wanted a future with me in a long-term relationship. I believed him and a month later the final break-up happened.
He in fact did not go to therapy and I'm still thinking about what happened. I remember telling him that I'm someone who always likes to talk about everything because I don't like the feeling of not having a closure. Or idk maybe the closure was him liking the other girl.
It still feels off. Maybe it's so hard to let him go because I don't think he's a bad person he's just someone with a lot of inner chaos.
What do you guys think? I’d love to hear your thoughts or if anyone has been through something similar.
Last updated on:2026-05-12T04:20:09+05:30
Comments (8)
im so sorry, and i know that hurts. not getting the closure you want feels horrible, even worse when it doesnt make sense. just know that you deserve better, you deserve someone who will choose you. sending love💗
tysm for the kind words. I'm glad that I can at least share my story and maybe it will resonate with someone
@notarose it definitely resonated with me! i’ve been searching for closure, unfortunately some people will never give you it and you have to find it within yourself
If he isn't choosing you everyday and only choosing you at times where it only suits him, he is not your person
sometimes we never get the closure we need. We think getting closure will help us understand the breakup and help us move forward. It doesn't. My last breakup, I was probably the most healthiest mentally I've been. During his breakup speech, so many questions were floating around in my head but I just simply came to the conclusion "it doesn't matter, he isn't choosing you". So knowing all the questions in my head, the answers would never change the outcome. He was walking away. So I walked away calmly and gave him his peace. That was my closure. I loved him with my entire soul, but I was not going to fight for a love who walked away and didnt want to stay.
Wow, I wish I could be as calm as you. Your words are powerful, but right now I'm still in the stage where my head is full of whys. I guess it's hard for me to accept that the answers won't change the fact that he's gone. How did you get to that point of peace?
@notarose i think through the pain and hurt we try to logically think our way out of it. We ask ourselves why and we think of ways we could have done differently and maybe things could he different. This plays into our self worth thinking we weren't good enough for them to stay. In all the hurt and pain we go through, we just need to sit in it without questioning why, just feel it fully.
I still hurt, but I can also be this amazing lovable person and he still chose to walk away. All the love I felt for him, I've funnelled back into myself. And all the overflowing parts I share with others. All the friendships I abandoned now get my love. I read we shouldn't invest into people that dont reciprocate. Whilst I cant say im investing, I still believe love can be shared, even if its a "thinking of you" message.
When the pain gets too much, I go for a long walk. Being outside in nature and fresh air and getting movement into my body gives me relief from the pain and hurt within
@DreamyWay697 Yeah I'lll try to just sit with my sadness instead of searching for answers I'll never get. I'm someone who feels things very deeply, so I get overwhelmed sometimes. Thank you so much for the support it's always nice to talk to someone who understands this kind of situation ♡