my ex broke no contact today. two shared friends are celebrating their birthday soon and we were both invited. they sent a poll in the groupchat (about who could come) they made for the party and i saw that he said "yes". so i immediately was like no thanks i dont want to be at the same party as you. so i put no. a few days later, so today, he texts me saying that he saw i wasnt coming and that he was afraid that it was because of him. i was so in shock that he texted me after like 4 months of no contact. i dont want him to get the idea that he is still in control of me or anything. i just didnt want to come to a party where he would be plus some of his friends. some of them are also my friends but i feel awkward ever since the breakup around that shared friendgroup. idk what i should respond. should i be honest? or should i lie and tell him i already had plans and stuff
Last updated on:2026-06-29T04:54:11+05:30
Comments (8)
honestly, i'd only reply if it feels right for YOU, not because you're worried about what he'll think. i used to overexplain everything to my ex, and it only left me more drained.
that first text after months of silence. my stomach dropped too. đź’” i ended up realizing i didn't owe my ex an explanation for protecting my own peace, even if they wanted one.
when he texted you, did it feel like he genuinely cared about how you were feeling, or did it feel more like he wanted reassurance that the breakup hadn't affected you?
i dont really know for sure. it felt more like that he was scared that he should feel guilty about it. he said: "Hey, I saw that you aren't going to the party. I don't know if that's because you can't make it, but I really just don't want it to be because of me. I really hope you go if you want to. I'll see them another time."
idk how to feel about it
you dont have yo explain anything to them. keep the no contact
4 months of no contact is amazing, and I think responding could have the potential to back track things... What would you want to get out of responding to him?
I guess like sort letting him know that im not affectie by him anymore. i dont want to give him that idea. i want him to think im over him and moving on. he doesnt have to know the truth right? i am really trying to moving on from him. i just dont know why he felt the need to text me about it. if its really just because he care about me and wants me to be able to go to the party (cuz thats what he sais too) or if he wants to know how im holding up regarding the break up. its confusing me
@ChillFlick610 honestly I think not responding gives that answer to him - that you don’t care anymore. sometimes not knowing the “why” someone does something is better than knowing. of course, only you can decide what is best for yourself!