I had been dating a guy for just under two months and until recently everything seemed to be going really well. We'd been on around nine dates saw each other regularly and he had previously told me he could see us becoming official in the future. Around week five we talked about labels and he said he was happy with how things were and didn't want to rush into anything.
A few weeks ago I had a mild stroke. I'm recovering well but because it's unusual for someone my age I'm still going through medical tests to find the cause. At first he was incredibly supportive. He checked in on me every day called often and even came to visit me and my family at my parents' house. After that visit though I noticed he became more distant over text.
He was actually the one who brought it up. He told me my health scare had made the relationship feel much more serious than it had before. He said it made him stop and ask himself whether his feelings were strong enough to continue and that the situation had put a magnifying glass on the relationship.
Two days later we spoke again on the phone and he ended things. He said that because everything suddenly felt more serious he realized his feelings weren't as strong as they needed to be. He also said he didn't think our emotional connection was where it should have been. He struggled to say it directly though. I eventually asked him "Are you ending this?" because he kept speaking in circles. When I asked if he was completely sure he replied "I think so yeah." After that I didn't try to change his mind because I don't see the point in convincing someone to stay.
What I'm struggling to understand is why this happened. If things really were going well before my stroke why would a health scare suddenly make him realize he didn't want the relationship? Does that mean he already had doubts and this simply forced him to face them? Or is it normal for someone in a new relationship to pull away when things suddenly become more serious than they expected?
What makes it even more confusing is that he told me he hadn't had any real doubts before this only small concerns like the fact that I'm still a student while he's working full time.
I don't want to be with someone who's unsure about me so while I'm sad I'm at peace with letting him go. I'm not trying to convince myself he made the wrong decision. I just want to understand what might have been going through his mind.
Last updated on:2026-07-01T17:58:12+05:30
Comments (4)
i dated someone who pulled away the moment life stopped being easy, and it crushed me because everything had felt so good before that.
before your stroke, did you ever notice him keeping you at arm's length emotionally, or did the distance truly start only after everything happened?
I don’t have the answers for you, but I want to send you a big internet hug. You deserve a partner who sees you as a whole person and loves you through these challenges. It’s hard to understand why someone might treat you this way, especially when you yourself are empathetic and couldn’t imagine doing something similar to them.
Only he can know for sure what his own side of the story was, but personally I wouldn’t say it seems like he has massive doubts already and used the scare as an out. I think that he liked you, which is why it kept going nearly two months and around 9 dates.