I was in a relationship with a guy for four years and somewhere along the way I developed intense jealousy that I never used to have.
At the start of our relationship I wasn't the jealous type at all. I had no problem with him talking to other women or having female friends. But over time that completely changed. Eventually I couldn't stand seeing him interact with another woman. Even a simple conversation would make me feel anxious angry and overwhelmed and it often led to arguments between us.
We're no longer together but those feelings haven't disappeared. Even now the thought of him talking to or being involved with someone else leaves me feeling heartbroken and devastated.
I'm trying to understand why this happened and how I can work through it. Has anyone else experienced something similar? I'd really appreciate any advice or insights.
Last updated on:2026-07-03T20:46:12+05:30
Comments (4)
umm i was stopping the focus on him and looking at what changed in me during the relationship. i started writing down when the jealousy hit and what i actually needed in that moment, usually it was reassurance or feeling chosen, not control.
did anything shift in the relationship before the jealousy started, like trust getting shaken or you feeling less secure with him over time
i’ve been there in a different way. i used to be so chill at the start too, then slowly every small thing started feeling like a threat and i didn’t even recognize myself anymore in that version of me.
I used to be the same but after witnessing his behaviour I started to change. I hated every girl he interacted with or flirted with or obsessed with even if the situation was his fault. I even started hating people who look like those girls physically.
The most important thing I’ve learnt is that the right person doesn’t make you feel like that you have something to be jealous of because you know they only see you in a room full of women. Right now, I’m trying to work on myself and fix my insecurities and self image issues and I hope it gets easier for you too ❤️