broke up with my ex in april on good terms. she reached out in june angry bringing up things from our 2 year relationship that I feel aren’t fair or fully true saying I didn’t meet her needs and treated her like “arm candy.” I replied to defend myself and clear my name because I felt disrespected even though I didn’t bring up her faults. I don’t want her back but part of me still wanted her to understand my side and see that I did try and do a lot right. I know silence is often seen as power but I didn’t want to just let the accusations sit there.
Last updated on:2026-07-04T01:40:11+05:30
Comments (5)
i get why you answered. after my breakup i wasn't trying to win my ex back either, i just couldn't stand being remembered as someone i wasn't. that part HURT.
It sounds more like you’re trying to regain control over the narrative of your relationship rather than clear your name. The relationship is over. She has no obligation to understand where you’re coming from, and trying to make her do that just sends the message that you still care about what she thinks. She was probably acting out in a moment of loneliness and vulnerability, and knew throwing accusations would get you to talk. It was wrong of her to do that, but if she says you didn’t meet her needs and treated her like arm candy, then that’s just how she feels. Nothing you can do now to change it, and if you’re truly looking to move on you probably shouldn’t care.
do you think you replied because you wanted her to understand, or because you needed to know she didn't see you as the bad guy anymore?
defending yourself isn't wrong, but replying just feeds her drama, silence is your power move here
defending yourself isn't wrong, but replying just feeds her drama, silence is your power move here