When my girlfriend and I first got together she told me she'd only been in two serious relationships and hadn't had any casual hookups. As time went on I learned that wasn't the full truth. There had been several sexual encounters before me and she had stayed in contact with some of those men.
What hurt the most wasn't her past it was how everything came out. She repeatedly lied downplayed what happened deleted messages and only admitted things after I found evidence myself. To make it even worse I ended up contracting an STD that was linked to one of those past encounters.
She now tells me she's being completely honest has cut all inappropriate ties respects clear boundaries and is fully committed to rebuilding what we have. I love her deeply but I can't shake the way all of this has made me feel. I feel hurt embarrassed and emotionally unsafe. I don't know if I'll ever be able to trust her the same way again or look at our relationship with the same confidence I once had.
Last updated on:2026-07-07T00:32:12+05:30
Comments (4)
She hasn’t been truthful. You aren’t in love with the real her. You’re in love with the image she portrays when she’s with you.
This is a LOT of deception for a 10-month-old relationship. It doesn’t seem like your gf is mature enough to be in a committed, monogamous, long-term relationship. If you choose to stay, I think you’ll be in for more lies and drama involving other men in the future.
When someone shows you what they’re capable of, believe them the first time. Most people only get better at hiding who they are with time. I wouldn’t want to marry someone that would hide something so important to you and lie about it. Would you want to get married then find out there’s more she’s lying about and hiding from you in this regard?
I’ve been through this. You have to set a firm boundary. If you keep contorting yourself to make the relationship work then it’s going to make you resentful and eventually you’ll become the bad guy.