i’ve been with my boyfriend for a little over four years. honestly it’s been the healthiest relationship i’ve had overall.
a few times now i’ve noticed that he still texts a female coworker even though they don’t work together anymore. last night i finally told him i wasn’t comfortable with how often they were still talking.
he got really upset and eventually i asked if i could see their messages. he refused. he told me that people in healthy relationships don’t ask to go through each other’s phones and that i should just trust him.
what makes it harder is that i know they’ve talked about me before she’s asked him for relationship advice and i’ve also seen her send him selfies.
i’m not sure if i’m overreacting or if my concerns are valid. i’d really appreciate some outside perspective.
Last updated on:2026-07-14T23:54:11+05:30
Comments (7)
It's time to exit stage left. The minute the trust is even remotely in question it's over.
Been here with my ex, asked many times to see her phone and she refused so many times. But she would snoop through mine when I left it away from me. In March, idk why she was asleep and left her phone open. I found what she was hiding from me and she woke up to me breaking up with her. Oh and she decided to do this after years of begging to have my baby and we had a 1yr old daughter at the time she chose to cheat on me knowing how it would ruin our daughter’s future.
No man in a healthy relationship seeks companionship from their previous female co-workers either? I would leave him just off the fact that you’re not comfortable and he’s still going against you by messaging her.
Id dump him if he doesnt let you see tbh, only reason he has for not showing u is that whatever's on there he knows it will upset u and possibly cause a breakup. Done the whole guessing game too many times and now only do relationships where phone passwords are shared
Trust your instinct, and he should not be bothered if you check his phone.
Girl, I’m sorry but if that man had nothing to hide he would have shown you. Also, if he shows you the chat now, he has had the time to go through the chat and delete the sneaky stuff
Why wouldn’t he want to show their messages? If he has nothing to hide it would be no problem. He might not be cheating but maybe he likes the validation of just talking a little to another person?