is the superglue of toxic relationships. I admit I am not the brightesf but I am no tool and.yet it took me accepting breadcrumbs for 11 years to see I did.deserve more. I kept thinking it was him that changed the dynamics between us and then it dawned on me. it was I thar changed. No longer would I accept the leftovers or crappy cold breadcrumbs he said were love. No longer did I let him get away with him telling me he could do better then me as I made him breakfast. No longer will I accept his endless excuses as to why he never has time for me and tells me I am lucky to get one day a week.
He can go to hell.
Last updated on:2026-07-15T05:06:24+05:30
Comments (7)
trauma bond is what I just left this week after a little over four years. I am a widow so I was just reaching for some comfort at first but then I thought I really liked him but really I don’t think I ever did. I just got addicted to the ups and downs. and getting lost in hopeful thinking that one day things would change. He would do and say things that would make think that maybe they would but they never would. I would say something about what was happening or ask specific questions and he would get made flip it on me then I would end up chasing him bad then he would start talking to me again but I had to apologize and beg. something just snapped the other day and instead of begging him I decided I was done with it and that I deserve better
i honestly think seeing your own part in accepting less is HUGE. i stopped waiting for apologies that never came, and that's when i finally started getting my life back.
when I seen the mask fall off after we had our daughter. i saw the demon 😈 of his character come out. i got really scared 😱. i knew I was going to have to dig out. took me 3 tries to leave total of 3 yrs of the trauma bond. Not for one minute did I ever believe anything that came out his mouth. But I was stuck literally. i still wasn't sure 😕 of what was happening i couldn't make full assessment yet. Until he started giving me clues like saying exactly 💯 what he was doing trying to convince me I was doing it to him. that was the biggest argument for a while. I would defend myself. then he tried to quiet me. that I was to emotional. that all woman are. alot of these words opened up my intuition 😌 and I knew I could access he indeed knew what he was doing. once that happened I just stopped sleeping with him cause now I couldn't trust him. Then things just escalated fast he started to get messy. the actual phases of the abuse he couldn't keep up. therefore I would interrupt it he would get so mad /yelling and screaming but because we had the baby now I began putting boundaries like please no yelling talk normal. that didn't last sometimes wake up the baby. Then around Dec 2026 I realized I was correct on the reflection of being consumed by a trauma bond and in fact this person was the person I loved and had a baby with. I then began getting closer to God going to church reading scripture and that set me free. This is my 3rd attempt in leaving. i am independent I have all my own things my car my house. Right now im 30 days out and I have a support group of moms in real life that have gotten out. Right now my plan to stay out is realizing how the hoovering works cause they always come back. I am building strong boundaries and distance even if he decides to see our daughter. Because right now I know he's a mess but wants to make me believe that he's k. I know he's not hes angry!!! I need to protect my daughter and I from this curse that is real life. in his mind it's a game. my latter days are better than my former days.
i stayed in a trauma bond for years too, telling myself the crumbs were enough because i remembered how things used to be. the day i finally said "enough" changed everything.
yes...but I knew lpng before I could let it go but his intemt on creating more and more distanxd said it all for me. I wasnt even deserving of common courtesy
they treat you like how they feel like dirt they usually feel like dirt.
i'm wondering, was there one moment where something finally clicked and you knew you were done for good?