my boyfriend and I just ended our relationship after almost 1.5 years and I’m struggling to understand how we got here.
A few weeks ago I found out he had been texting and sexting other women throughout our relationship. As far as I know nothing physical happened but finding out completely shattered my trust.
The hardest part is that before this I truly believed I had found my person. He was everything I wanted in a partner. He cared for me cooked for me planned dates took me to concerts traveled with me and we were part of each other’s families. I felt genuinely loved and never had any reason to think something was wrong.
When we talked about it he told me he never actually wanted those women and that it was more about needing attention and validation. He admitted it was something he struggled with and knew wasn’t okay.
We decided to take a two-week break while I was away. When I came back we spent hours talking crying laughing and reconnecting. We even spent the night together. Then the next morning we ended things.
What hurts the most is how confusing it all feels. He told me he still loves me that I’m special to him that he missed me and that he doesn’t want to lose me completely. He said he hoped the break would bring him clarity but instead he realized he’s scared that what happened permanently changed our relationship and that he might hurt me again. He told me not to wait for him.
I’m heartbroken because I still love him but I also know I can’t make someone choose me.
My ex said something similar before leaving me for someone else almost immediately so I’m terrified I’m watching the same thing happen again.
Has anyone been through something like this? Did you ever get closure? Did they come back? Or was it really the end even when both people still loved each other?
Last updated on:2026-07-16T01:06:19+05:30
Comments (8)
maybe hes just afraid to Tell somebody that he needs attention and validation bc that would mean actually being vulnerable. maybe its easier for him to do smth sexuall with other women than talk abt his needs.. I dont want to excuse his behavior bc my ex was like that too- except that he never cheated
this is almost my exact situation. the first time you break up will be the same reason you finally end things (assuming you get back together after this). mine has very similar excuses about validation and even went to therapy, but it was all performative. he was going to therapy but he wasn’t actually working on himself. he continued to lie about how long it went on and in the end, I knew I just couldn’t trust him. I deserve a regulated nervous system and a partner who hasn’t lied to me for the majority of our relationship, and so do you.
if he came back tomorrow but nothing changed except his words, do you think you'd actually be able to trust him again?
and closure takes time u just got too focus on u I still deeply love my ex but its not fair to be with someone who treats us like that keep ur head up high
he was using u men do that it's all narrasttic he loved u but spoke to women them women would of been there all along best thing u can do is of left I've been through the same thing my ex just told me he slept with someone he was loving in and out of our relationship too and we went through the same situation as you u deserve better
replaying every conversation and wondering if love was enough.
i had an ex who kept saying he loved me while hiding things from me, and that mixed message kept me hanging on way longer than i should have. i kept waiting for the words and the actions to finally match
He stopped choosing you when he decided to have online affairs. He didn't care if he hurt you then. He cares now that he can't have his cake and eat it too. When we truly love someone, we don't have affairs that we know will wreck them to their core. Not to be harsh but it was all fun and games for him until he was found out.