my ex-girlfriend and i broke up almost two months ago after two years together. when we ended things she told me she still wanted me in her life as a friend. i asked if she thought we could ever find our way back to each other someday and she said yes.
i think i held onto that answer more than i should have. i stayed close because i couldn't accept that the relationship was really over. being friends felt easier than facing the loss.
our relationship had been struggling for a while before we broke up. we weren't seeing each other much barely talked and resentment slowly built between us. i wasn't doing well mentally either. i had lost a lot of confidence became more negative and wasn't the person i wanted to be. eventually we both realized we were growing apart and decided to end things before we hurt each other even more.
after the breakup we slipped into a friends-with-benefits situation. at first it felt comforting but it only made things more complicated. feelings came back so we stopped. mine never really left. hers seem to have faded a lot more than mine.
she still says she could see us together again one day but she believes we both need time apart to grow and figure out what we want. we also agreed not to get involved with anyone else or start new relationships.
what i'm struggling with now is seeing her spend so much time with another guy. she says they're just friends and maybe that's true but i still get jealous. i've caught myself checking her location constantly and one time i even drove by where they were hanging out. i'm honestly ashamed of that. i know it isn't healthy and it isn't fair to her. i think i'm just having a hard time accepting that someone who was such a huge part of my life isn't mine anymore.
i also went on my senior trip to mexico and got close to a few girls. nothing happened physically because i didn't want to cross that line. i told my ex about it afterward and she didn't seem bothered at all. for some reason that hurt more than i expected.
deep down i know i need to let go for now. i want to rebuild my confidence become happier and stop making the possibility of getting back together my reason for improving. i want to become a better version of myself because i deserve that not because i'm hoping she'll come back.
the hard part is that i still see a future with her. she's genuinely a good person we share the same friend group and i don't want to lose her completely. but i also know staying this attached while we're in different emotional places is probably keeping me stuck.
Last updated on:2026-07-24T18:01:11+05:30
Comments (4)
no contact, very minimal won't help your mindset.
By not giving her space, she hasn’t necessarily felt your absence. She needs to feel your absence and realise what a life without you is like to make you realise what she lost and whether she still has room for you in her life. It’s comfortable for both of you and safe, but you have to discard the safety net.
Im going through this right now. You NEED to go no contact. You can’t be friends with somebody you are grieving. You need to heal. Take a day away from her, then two, then three, until it gets easier. Delete apps off your phone you would contact/ stalk her on. Distraction is the only way.
Staying in contact after someone asks for space or pulls apart from you is a huge mistake I made. You are teaching yourself that you are only worthy of occasional scraps to keep you on the hook and giving your attention to them. I am now working on rebuilding myself to grow in confidence and self esteem, for the sake of myself and my future family.