it’s a complicated one this one so buckle in. me and my ex were together almost a year before he broke up with me in December 2025 because of family issues and the fact he couldn’t juggle our relationship + that. I’ve written a few posts about this already because since then we have still seen eachother, been on a get away and chatted yet still never got back together because he still felt he couldn’t make me happy or fulfill my relationship goals fully because his family problems still weren’t fixed. in hindsight, I look so silly staying with a man who still didn’t want to commit with me but hey, that’s what love does to you I guess. anyway, skip forward to today (7 - almost 8 months after we have broke up) I saw him and just felt this rush of shame and guilt. Even though the last 7 months we had been seeing eachother, we were far from perfect. we had arguments still, I was unhappy and so was he. I cried to him at least 2/3 times I saw him. He couldn’t give me what I wanted so therefore I would get angry at him and there was a confusion on where I stood and if there was any chance of us getting back together? He could never give me an answer because god knows he didn’t have a clue either. after floods of tears and 7 months of me telling him how unhappy I was with the circumstances of this relationship, it finally clicked that I couldn’t go on like this. he understood and as much as I hated to even think about doing this, I knew we had to stop contact completely. He said he knew he was hurting me and if it was the other way round he would hope I would make the same decision as him and cut him off too. I couldn’t fight it. because I know how many nights since December I have cried over him. if there was another way I would do everything in my power to use it but unfortunately I know deep down there isn’t. so, I left him today and got on an hour train back to my city and got a message from him saying he will always love me and he will do everything in his way to heal and get back with me. I sent a small message back and then we unadded eachother. we’ve tried to go no contact before hence why I’ve had this app a while but it never worked out. but I think this time it’s going to have to. I hope more than anything we find our way back to eachother because as naive as it sounds, he is my soulmate. I just know that right now I can’t do what we were doing because it just hurt me too much.
Any advice on my situation and am I being silly for thinking he will come back after we have both healed ?
Last updated on:2026-07-28T10:21:12+05:30
Comments (3)
i stayed in that same in-between for months, always hoping the next conversation would finally be the one where we'd get back together. cutting contact felt cruel at first, but it was the first choice i made that actually protected me.
As someone who’s had experience with a troubling family dynamic, and has also got broken up with someone who was reluctant to do it, my advice is this: If it’s meant to be, it’ll happen. It’s hard to trust that something will happen when you’re not actively moving towards it, but patience and self respect is definitely key here. My sister is married to her high school sweetheart, and they broke up at least 2 to 3 times. The last break they had before getting back together lasted 5 years. It was my dad’s passing that actually brought them back together. When me and my ex broke up, it was a reluctant breakup on both our parts. He was still healing from a past relationship, and although he had nothing but good things to say about me, he didn’t have the capacity to commit. We both talked mutually about reconnecting again someday, but I still asked for 3 months no contact so I could heal and protect myself even if it killed our chances of getting back together. It’s hard, but it doesn’t matter what reason he had for breaking up. It still hurt, and that has to be addressed and healed. My sister told me herself that when she and her now husband broke up for 5 years she was never hopeful that they would get back together, even though the thought of not being with him made her feel sick. Having this time apart is more beneficial than hurtful. If it’s meant to be, when you two see eachother again you’ll be glad you took this time apart to sort yourselves out. So just slow down, trust the process, and focus on yourself.
oh wow thank you so much for sharing this with me. I’m so glad to hear your sister managed to reconnect with her husband. Hearing other people’s stories on reconnecting with their soulmate does genuinely give me hope. Although you are 100% right, I need to give myself time to heal and to digest it all. As much as I love him, the breakup and the hanging around with eachother for 7 months after almost acting like we were back together when we weren’t, hurt me so much. A lot of things happened between him and a couple immediate members of his family and him being an avoidant and someone who is set that he doesn’t need any help whatsoever also doesn’t help the situation. However, thank you so much for you advice. I’ll be thinking of this ❤️