day 21 now i guess. 21 days without talking to the person i loved with my whole heart. i don’t want to admit that because i know that he never felt that way. but he was. maybe he still is.
i’m talking to someone else and i feel like im leading them on. so how do i tell them that i can’t go on with talking because i am stuck on a guy who chose another girl over me? because i don’t want to be the person that breaks another’s heart in the way he broke mine.
and it all sucks so much because i was never okay. but when i spoke to him it made the problems disappear, and now they’re back with another, even more heart breaking disguise.
everything now is so making me feel so lost and confused. i don’t want to do things anymore and i don’t want to be here anymore. and yet i have to stay. it sucks, but i could never leave my family alone. not with everything floating above us like a dark cloud, thunder lurking beyond.
Last updated on:2026-08-03T06:09:01+05:30
Comments (6)
has anything happened these last few days that's made the grief hit this hard again, or has it just been building since the no contact started?
i think it could very well be both. but mostly i think when i got to talking to another guy it brought back memories and then feelings. but i also know that the farther i get from the day i last talked to him, it hurts more.
i had to tell someone i couldn't keep talking because my heart was still with my ex, and it sucked, but it was kinder than pretending i was ready. they deserved the truth, and honestly, so did i.
i’m glad you feel the same way. i did it anyway and i feel so much better even though it really sucked.
counting the days too, like if i made it one more day maybe it would stop hurting. i'm really glad you said you'd stay for your family, and i hope you're talking to someone close to you too, not just us.
yes, counting the days seems to help though because i’m trying to remember that these are all the days i made it and didn’t give up. and yes, i talk to another person and she has really helped me through it, but this helps me to find people who understand me.