hii xx, today in n 32 on NC for me.
And I need to write somethig out, just can’t hold it inside.
I miss my ex boyfriend, not sure if I love him so much still the same, but definitely miss him. Wonder what he’s doing, who he is with and stuff.
This situation, is so hard for me, cause deep down I still want him back somehow. I have days I am trying to move on, not think much about him go outside with friends etc..
The problem is that he never told me not to contact him again, or gave me my belongings, or block me everywhere, delete every photo- if he did this, it would hurt, but I would knew what I am on about.
But It’s so unclear for me that I dunno what to think and do.
Even tho we are not together, I regret having sex with a guy yesterday, that I only knew for few hours. I thought I would never done something like this but it happend. He was very sweet to me, but I regret it instantly after.
I feel really bad of myself now, disgusted.. how I let this happend.
Guess I am so hurt that I do this, but I don’t want to give false hopes to guys just to forget about my ex..
Last updated on:2026-08-17T04:10:00+05:30
Comments (6)
please don't beat yourself up over yesterday.
it’s hard not to, but thank you for your words, I needed to hear this
if he suddenly gave you the clarity you're waiting for, do you think you'd actually want him back, or do you mostly want the uncertainty to finally stop?
I think both, I just want clearity at this point
day 32 and still having that tiny bit of hope makes this so much harder. i remember getting stuck on all the unanswered questions too, wondering what every little thing meant and waiting for some sign.
exactly thiss!! when there is still a bit of hope, it’s even more harder and unclear