I recently ended a 4-year relationship with ex. Looking back I’m struggling to understand what a healthy relationship even looks like anymore.
I gave him so much of my time drove him around for hours supported him emotionally sent him money visited him in prison and kept showing up for him. In return there was very little affection effort or basic consideration. He never took me on a proper date rarely did anything thoughtful for me and often swore at me insulted me or told me I was embarrassing him.
After two years he finally took me for a walk held my hand and kissed me. On the way home he casually told me he had gotten another woman pregnant after seeing her twice.
The next day he brought a firearm into my car without my knowledge. We were both arrested. I wasn’t charged but I spent the night in a cell was strip-searched had my phone and car seized and was on bail for two months. He received a 5-year sentence.
Despite all of that I still supported him.
There were also serious incidents involving people in his wider circle including sexual harassment assault intimidation and a video being recorded and shared without my consent. What hurt most was that ex never defended me. I constantly had to explain why I was upset while feeling completely alone.
I know I became angry and difficult toward the end and I’m not proud of everything I said or did. But I was exhausted.
I’ve finally ended things permanently. He called me around 15 times and I didn’t answer.
Am I justified in walking away for good? Does this relationship sound as unhealthy and one-sided as it now looks to me?
Last updated on:2026-09-02T22:51:12+05:30
Comments (4)
you are completely justified in walking away for good. that imbalance was massive and staying after all of it was already more than most people could manage.
what made you keep showing up for so long even after the prison and the night in the cell?
i stayed with someone for years who took everything i gave and gave almost nothing back, even after he put me through stuff that left me shaken and alone. the part where no one defended you and you had to keep explaining your hurt is exactly what drained me too.
girl you did the best dont ve harsh on yourself you have a right to be exhausted look at that man he was never on your side even though you gave everything to him. you did your best and you can say mean things before seperating the ways. i cant understand your relationship dinamic from one paragraph but it looks like you are the one who strive for the sake of the relationship. and yeah you deserve better just focus on yourself and maybe someday life brings someone completely new and values you just for you AND MAYBE he will understand his faults and tries to be a better person for you but his mistakes arent that small so forgive him but dont make this mistake again