it’s been almost two years since my breakup and one of the many reasons he gave for leaving was that he wasn’t physically attracted to me anymore.
He would still tell me I was pretty sometimes but my body just wasn’t the type he was attracted to. He said he had tried but he couldn’t control what he was physically attracted to. We were also long-distance which made everything harder.
I loved him deeply. I still do. It’s the kind of love I don’t even know how to explain properly because words don’t feel big enough for it.
Now I feel so threatened and insecure thinking about him eventually finding someone new. I think about all the things she might be able to give him that I couldn’t. The tenderness we shared the intimacy all those little things that felt like they belonged to us could someday belong to someone else.
And then there’s what this breakup did to the way I see myself.
My confidence in my body has been shattered. I look in the mirror and immediately start finding things wrong with myself. I compare myself to other women. I think about the fit women around him and wonder why I wasn’t enough for him physically.
It’s exhausting. Sometimes it feels paralyzing. I can’t separate missing him from the feeling that I somehow failed because he stopped being attracted to me.
He has apologized to me multiple times for how much this hurt me but he still believes the relationship isn’t the right choice for him anymore.
So now I’m left trying to deal with everything at once: missing the person I loved so deeply grieving the relationship feeling jealous of a woman who doesn’t even exist in his life yet and trying to rebuild the confidence I had in my own body.
I hate that someone else’s attraction to me has become the way I measure my worth.
I don’t know how to stop feeling like I lost the love of my life and at the same time lost the ability to feel beautiful in my own skin.
Last updated on:2026-09-08T18:04:12+05:30
Comments (4)
i had to learn that someone’s attraction to me couldn’t be the thing that decided whether i was beautiful, because i was handing my ex way too much power over how i saw myself.
i feel like you’re grieving two things at once, him and the version of yourself who felt beautiful before all of this. when you imagine him with someone else, is the deeper fear losing him, or feeling like she’ll somehow prove that you weren’t enough?
baby gal you gotta stop doing that ....you gotta measuring your worth based on this man ..he's made it clear your are not his type of woman and that's okay bt that doesn't make you any less beautiful or unworthy...I've been to where you are before and trust me wen I tell you are someone's else's type and dream gal ...another man will love and treasure you and see you for who you are bt first of all you have to love and treasure yourself for who you are for another person to do the same so fuck that guy and don't you cry no more for someone that's told you things like that .....it's okay to be sad and to miss him bt don act on those emotions...allow yourself to feel them without acting on them and just like waves the eventually come down and pass .....you got this baby
that kind of rejection stays with you in a really cruel way. my ex once made me feel like my body was something i had to apologize for, and i spent so long comparing myself to women i thought he’d want more than me.