I’ll try to keep this short. I was in a relationship with my best friend’s brother. We’d known each other for 10 years before we started dating. EVERYONE around us thought (and so did I) that we had an amazing relationship. We traveled, lived together, and slept cuddled up every night, even if it meant waking up stiff as hell. He was constantly talking about getting engaged and married.
He has ADHD and has struggled with it his entire life. He and his family always said that I was the only person who truly understood him and that he was genuinely happy when he was with me. He also had issues with cocaine. We went to therapy together, he was on medication, but eventually he gave up on it. Still, we somehow got through it all-or at least I thought we did.
That’s when he admitted that he had been lying to me, that he had been doing drugs and “messing around” with other girls. He used to wake me up in the middle of the night crying because he couldn’t sleep. We were genuinely very attached to each other, and I truly believed it wouldn’t happen again.
Three weeks ago, I found out that for the past six months he had been living a double life-going out to clubs, doing drugs, hitting on girls in some really shady places, and having Tinder behind my back. He says he never actually cheated on me, that he was only flirting and texting other girls, but I still left because I felt completely betrayed.
For the past three weeks, I’ve been wondering whether I’m going to regret it. Do you think I made the wrong decision? Did I throw away three years of our life together too easily?
Last updated on:2026-09-10T04:09:22+05:30
Comments (13)
you think you’re regretting leaving him, or are you grieving the future you genuinely believed the two of you were going to have?
I honestly think you hit the nail on the head with this question. I'm more sad about the life I imagined waiting for us in the future. My head was and remains limited to that option only. I'm trying to get rid of those thoughts but I can't imagine my future without him
i don't think you threw three years away. i had to learn that loving someone wasn't enough for me to ignore the lying and betrayal, and leaving became the hardest way i chose myself. the fact that he called it “just flirting” wouldn't have made me feel any less betrayed either.
can I tell you something
Thank you so much for your comment! I hope you’re feeling better now. Good things are coming. Stay strong. I’ll try to do the same
loving someone so deeply that the good memories made me question every reason i had to leave. three years can feel impossible to walk away from, especially when he was your best friend and the person you pictured growing old with
This is so true.. I'm sorry you had to reconsider your decision. I would tell anyone to leave a relationship like that, but it's hard to stay calm when my life is at stake. I wish you what you deserve!
can I tell your the truth ?
please, do.
the decision is ultimately yours. it’s your life & no one can tell you what to do. you just have to see a change & if you don’t, it might be time to decide if sitting through non-change is worth it
Actually, last weekend he was at the club again until 7am and that kills any chance I have of actually forgiving him.
Anyway, thank you very much for your answer and I hope you overcome whatever brought you to this app
I think there are more people out there and probably more fit or mature to be with you but regardless you want what you want and I want her.
Thank you so much! Wish you all the best! Please think about yourself and do what’s best for you.