I can’t stop thinking about my ex even though I know I don't want him back. In hindsight he was completely wrong for me and I dislike his lifestyle. I recently bought a house on my own and am relieved he didn't move in—I have no desire to live with an addict nor do I want to take on his children or large dog.
Although we initially connected over shared humor there was nothing else holding us together. He has severe debt active drinking and drug issues and a history of childish cruel behavior. Since ending our 18-month relationship my nervous system has finally settled. I no longer deal with sleepless nights anxiety over his whereabouts waiting on him at the pub or dealing with his possessive ex-wife and toxic friend group. My life hasn't suffered at all without him.
I haven't cried once since the breakup and I am not heartbroken yet he pops into my head multiple times a day which is frustrating because I want to fully move on. He started dating someone new very quickly after we split. Is the constant thought of him just a reaction to how fast he moved on making me feel "unchosen"—even though I ultimately chose myself?
Last updated on:2026-09-10T22:39:11+05:30
Comments (3)
i’d honestly let the thoughts come and go without treating them like a sign that you still want him. he moved on fast, so that “unchosen” feeling can sting your ego even when YOU made the choice that gave you peace.
i’d be curious whether you think about him most when you’re alone and quiet, or whether seeing that he’s dating someone new is what brings him back into your head?
i’ve had someone pop into my head constantly after a breakup even when i knew deep down i never wanted that life back, and for me the thoughts were more about the attachment and the sudden absence than actually missing the person