I understand the reason my breakup happened. I was so unfamiliar with being in such a loving, healthy relationship so I self sabotaged a ton and he was a big people pleaser who kept his emotions very bottled up so it was only when he broke up with me when he communicated what he felt uncomfortable with but he also told me that our situation was “right person, wrong time” and how if we met a bit later on when we both had our problems sorted out it would probably work but the thing is we are both planning to take long breaks from dating but I keep on thinking if it’s right person wrong time why don’t we just go on a break? When I had asked him if there was a chance in the future he would say “maybe” or “I don’t know” but then my mind is just spiraling around that thinking I have a chance I just got to wait it out but that very possibly might not be true and he could completely move on from me. What he wants me to do is improve right now for myself and he is planning to do the same, and honestly I am trying my hardest to improve, I’m going to therapy, I’m discovering so much about myself I didn’t know or forgot and discovering my trauma responses and why I use them. I want to become the best version of myself but it’s so hard when I’ve lost someone so close to me especially while being neurodivergent. My mind just keeps clinging to this idea that we will have a chance in the future and then it causes me to improve yes, but I’m doing it for him rather than myself and I want to focus on myself more right now so I don’t possibly end up hurting myself and the people around me.
Last updated on:2026-10-06T14:30:07+05:30
Comments (5)
i’ve been there, especially with the “right person, wrong time” line. i clung to that sentence for months and turned every bit of healing into a way of getting my ex back, so i really feel why your mind keeps going there.
How did healing go for you when you saw it as a way to get your ex back and do you know the reason your ex also said it was “right person wrong time”??
therapy helped me most when i stopped asking whether my changes would make him want me again. i started noticing the little ways i was becoming someone i actually wanted to live with, even if he never came back.
if you knew for certain he would never come back, what parts of yourself would you still want to work on?
Definitely how I treat the people close to me, destroying unhealthy trauma responses and learning to value myself rather than actively relying on other people. This is already what I’m trying to work on but it’s just sm harder with the thought of him in my brain 24/7.