I am trying to hard to heal and change for the better and when he broke up with me he got me to promise him I will continue with my course and my ambitions for the future but it’s so hard because I imagined my future with him in it and he always encouraged me to do what I want with my life when no one else would. I literally changed college courses because of him and felt so hopeful with him in my life but now I’m alone and all I can think about when I do any assignments is him.
Last updated on:2026-10-07T07:03:11+05:30
Comments (6)
that feeling so clearly, sitting in front of an assignment and somehow every thought still leads back to him. i changed so much of my own plans around my ex too, so losing the person and the future i pictured with him hurt at the same time
i’ve had days where i couldn’t get through even one page without crying or staring at my phone.
you imagine finishing your course and building that future now, does it still feel like something you want for yourself underneath all the memories of him?
It definitely is something I want. Before I switched course I was in a course for a subject I didn’t care for and hated the idea of doing a job in that field in the future but I just decided to stay on it because I had very low expectations of myself and felt there wasn’t much more I could do. My ex boyfriend finding this out actually encouraged me to switch to the course I actually wanted to do to reflect the job I actually wanted in my future. I’m so thankful he did that but problem is, is my concentration in the course because of his absence. I have a habit of relying and being overly dependent on other people and I imagined our whole future together and thought of him as the one but because I had a low self esteem of myself and didn’t think it was possible for someone so perfect to actually want me I unfortunately self sabotaged a ton during our relationship to ig test to see if he would leave me because I never expect anything going well for me and eventually he did because of the sheer amount I was doing it but he did also state that neither of us are ready for a relationship at this current moment in time and we need to work on ourselves so now I’m alone, filled with deep guilt and regret but I know I have to try hard at my course and grow as a person, I know this has taught me something and I honestly really want to strive for my goals but it’s just so hard because he is always in my head 24/7.
keep going 💪🏻
you’re doing the best you can with the situation you’re in and thats something to be proud of