My long-distance girlfriend has been cold and distant for four days following an awkward phone call. When I jokingly said I needed to learn how to stop missing her after she hadn't been calling she coldly replied "You better."
Since then getting her to talk has been like pulling teeth. Today I tried to smooth things over by telling her I loved her but she responded with "I'm scared I will hurt you." That immediately set off alarm bells for me. It feels like an excuse to push me away or prepare to break up and I got defensive because I don't believe real love should be built on the fear of hurting someone.
Is she setting up a breakup or am I overreacting to her pulling away?
Last updated on:2026-10-10T09:54:12+05:30
Comments (6)
Just leave her bro
f she says she doesn't want to talk about it, it's perfectly fine to give her that.
But then it's perfect normal expect that she will regulate herself and come back to you to talk about that within reasonable time
I think there's some important information that's missing here. If she is like this frequently, pulls this 'i don't want to talk' thing then it's better to leave this relationship. But if this is a one time thing I would say try to understand what's going on with her life and be there. I have been in a long distance relationship for a few years now, and it's very hard sometimes. Sometimes we just say stuff like "I don't want to hurt you" in a sense that we've been apart for so long and it's starting to hurt and we wanna be close.
You’re a stronger man than me. My ex was an avoidant and she’d always tell me the craziest shit like, “is it true that you’d never break up with me unless I cheated on you?” Or, “I’m scared that if we ever got into a physical confrontation that you wouldn’t be able to defend me” bc I’m skinny, and my personal favorite, “I love you I’m just not in love with you” obviously looking back now ik all these were obvious cries for help that she didn’t want me anymore but in the moment
I don't think you are being emotionally regulated here. LDR's require communication skills and it's lacking from the both of you.
greview@letitgo.care