Hello, hope everyone is doung better here xx
my situation has been good lately, spending time with a guy who values me much and I feel happy.
One think shattered me a bit tho, it was my birthday few days ago and my ex although he saw my bd stories on ig, didn’t reach out. I did not expect him to write an essay but a simple message would be it. He is an avoidant. No contact since end of august, (last chat he was sweet to me). So it hurt me a bit, but maybe for avoidants or rules of nc in general, it’s a part of it by no contacting even for birthday wishes.
Last updated on:2026-10-12T08:55:12+05:30
Comments (9)
my avoidant ex did the exact same thing on my birthday last year and it felt like a physical punch to the gut after weeks of doing so well. even when you are genuinely happy with someone new, that old ghost showing up by staying completely silent still hurts like hell.
stop waiting for a text that was never coming was deleting instagram off my phone for 48 hours so i couldn't obsess over who was or wasn't viewing my stories. you are doing amazing with the no contact, and protecting your peace right now matters way more than an avoidant ever acknowledging your day.
you find yourself checking your notifications all day waiting for that one specific name to pop up
it does hurt when someone who was such a big part of your life is no longer a part of the milestones and little celebrations. it’s ok to feel a little sad, I guess it’s part of the grief experience. I am happy for you having met some you are happy with 😊
thank you so much for these wordss, it really means a lot to me. Yeahh it hurt me a bit but it was his decision so I need to respect it and go with it
Yoh, I feel you😪 it hurts and i know that feeling 🥺 That reminds me, my ex's birthday is in November and I don't know whether I should contact him and send him a simple Happy Birthday late at night. I will just send the message on WhatsApp. I won't wait for his reply or anything I will delete the message for myself and then block him. I don't want his reply. I just want him to see my message.
I feel like I will regret not wishing him a happy birthday because he wished me one on my birthday in August. So, what do you think I should do? Should I wish him a happy birthday or just pretend like nothing is happening? Please help me. I would really appreciate your advice. 🥹❤️
well mine’s ex bd was earlier this year when we were still together so we celebrate and I texted him, but now after all if I were you, I would not text him
Honestly, I think I needed to hear this 🥹.Sometimes we feel like we owe them the same energy they gave us but we also have to consider our own healing. Thank you for your advice, girl. 🫂💕
you don't need birthday wishes from him. just remember one it's a new year without him