I feel like I’m not really experiencing no contact the way I’m supposed to 🥺
We’ve tried to go no contact, but it’s been broken several times because of messages about rent, money, favours and other practical things. I think the most we've gone is just over 10 days. We still follow each other on Instagram, too, and see each other’s stories about work, hobbies and everyday life. We haven’t actually sat down and had a proper conversation, but there’s still this little window into each other’s lives.
Recently, we saw each other in person, and he told me he’s moving back to his home country. He said we would talk at the end of the year and that he would give me his car to keep. Now I feel like I’m stuck in this in-between space, trying to heal and move forward while knowing there’s still a conversation waiting for us at the end of the year.
I don’t want to and I won't spend the next few months waiting for him or putting my healing on hold for a conversation that may or may not change anything. It's been over a month since the break up, and I have really been working on myself, so I know I’ll be okay regardless of what happens between us.
I guess I’m wondering whether I need to create firmer boundaries for myself to experience no contact properly. Maybe that means limiting what I see on social media, keeping communication strictly to necessary practical matters.
Has anyone else been in this kind of situation, where you’re technically not together and barely speaking, but you’re still connected through social media, practical responsibilities and the possibility of a future conversation? How did you navigate it without getting caught up in hope or constantly wondering what might happen? 🤍
Last updated on:2026-10-21T12:33:12+05:30
Comments (4)
i know that in-between space, and honestly, it can be harder than a clean break. i kept seeing little updates from my ex and telling myself i was moving on, but a part of me was still watching for signs that we might find our way back.
i had to mute my ex and keep our messages strictly about practical stuff before i could really start letting go. the hardest part was accepting that i could still care about him without keeping a little door open for him
i feel like you're doing a lot of good work on yourself already, but does knowing you'll talk at the end of the year leave a part of you quietly hoping he might change his mind?
hello! yes, I absolutely understand you. I mean, my situation is so numb, I always see her training sessions in the gym app, until one day she wrote something that led me to think that she had new company, it was heartbreaking, I surely dont wish you to experience that and if you continue watching his socials, at some point it will happen. I created a new user in the gym app and although it is difficult, I'm feeling better after some days really not knowing anything from her. So my advice is, Kindly let him know that you prefer to have the conversation now, not in December, and that you want to practice no contact for some time, you can be friends later if you want, but first you need to go no contact. If he understands it, great! if he doesnt, it is your time to prioritize you over him and take the actions needed to start the 0 contact.
I can assure you that love will find you again but with a better relationship and altough it will be painful, it will be the most healing thing that you can do for yourself.
Lots of hugs ❤️🩹