so I just wanna warn you before I get into all this that I’m using like speech to text so if this sounds like strange or it’s hard to read it’s because I’m using speech to text
so I have been dating this dude since
february 2017. we’ve had like an awful relationship like I just like I don’t even want to get into it and explain it further right now. I’m sure I will at some point when I’m truly missing him but right now I’m just feeling like so overwhelmed by constantly being in this back-and-forth with him where I beg him for love and attention and just to listen to me and talk to me and he just ignores me and like hangs up on me all the time and like makes excuses for why he just disappeared for like hours or days even like, especially after he said he was coming over to my house so he does it all the time. he’ll say “I’m coming to see you” and then he’ll just Disappear like for hours and doesn’t show up and we end up not seeing each other— or if we do he spends the entire time looking at his phone. which hurts because he spends up to 18 hours sometimes more on is phone yet he gives so many excuses as to why hr never texts or calls me for more than 3 minutes. he’s apparently “bad at communicating through text” yet he spends most of his time talking to other people on discord or like talking on Reddit extensively about his interest or like whatever the fuck he talks about. but I’m so sick of like the constant like I beg him for like love and attention and just to be seen and heard and listened to and he ignores it and only replies when it’s convenient and replies with excuses but never addresses anything i said or my feelings or apologizes and then like when he needs or want something from me, he suddenly like the best boyfriend in the world and like does everything I ask of him and just like.. makes ne feel loved and cared for and like it’s so sweet and loving and like is everything I want in a partner but then when I need him, it’s just… he’s not fucking there until i lose my shit and have a mental breakdown from the constant negligence and I feel so used and so like fucking neglected it reminds me of like my traumatic upbringing with my parents (because my parents were very negligent and abusive) and like I don’t know. i’m so tired. I have said 1 million times that I’m gonna break up with him and like everybody’s so sick of hearing me saying that I’m gonna break up with him or that I wanna break up with him even my therapist was like “you know you say you wanna leave him but like you’re never gonna leave him like you always say that, but you know it never changes” and I just hope I can stick to it and stop being so fucking weak and pathetic by staying with someone who obviously does not care about me. and honestly doesn’t even respect me or like me as a person. he literally only likes what i give to him cause ill do anything and everything for him even at extreme detriment to myself.
Last updated on:2026-10-28T23:44:12+05:30
Comments (3)
i stayed for years with someone who made me beg for the bare minimum, then gave me just enough love to make me question leaving. i hated how small i felt around someone i loved that much.
i hate that you're calling yourself weak and pathetic for staying. i kept going back too, especially when they suddenly became the partner i needed all along, and it took me a while to accept that those good moments weren't changing the pattern.
i feel like you've been carrying this relationship on your back for so long, and i'm wondering, when you imagine actually leaving this time, what feels hardest to let go of?