This hit me hard after 21 years of being married, came as a shock to be told he no longer loves me or feels anything for me. I tried to set up counseling sessions but he declined them. 8 years ago I had on online affair, I ended it and told my spouse. Now after me calling him out on texts to other women he threw my affair in my face blaming me for everything. I did try contacting him, but he is gone so cold and I feel as if he is being told how to react. He never showed this side of him in all 21 years, always loving and cared for me. Now he has pushed me completely. His timelines keep changing on giving me an answer on where the marriage lies. What do I do?
Last updated on:2026-11-02T20:39:24+05:30
Comments (13)
hi
Hii
🥺🥺
greview@letitgo.care
Hio
when he changes the timeline, does he give you any real reason for needing more time, or does he leave you waiting without any clear answer
He says he is busy with work and it's hectic so he hasn't given it a thought yet... says he is finally at peace. seeing that for 21 years I gave my all
Asking yourself what did you do, is holding onto an illusion of control over the situation. When we blame ourselves, even if we feel terrible, it’s our brain’s way of trying to give us power in a situation that is honestly quite powerless. It is also a stage of grief.. bargaining… truth is he changed. he just changed. not because of you, but because of him. it’s a fucked up crazy mind fuck; like how does that even work?? but you need to go into therapy asap, and just grieve. I’m so sorry you’re going through this
for me right now he feels no longer interested. I will give him this final month, after this I will give my decision. A marriage is based on 2 people not one individual decision by 1 person
I mean.. you had an online affair💀 Emotional cheating isn't good, why would you do that instead of just calling it off. You both are cooked, Affairs create divide and distrust, BOTH you and him did wrong by giving into temptations and seeking validation outside of your relationship💀 NGL you gotta just go on with your life and not do that again, same for him, you both gotta work on urselves
’d stop chasing a clear answer from someone who keeps changing the timeline. i know it’s hard after a marriage that long, but you can own the hurt your affair caused years ago without accepting blame for every problem happening now.
i can’t imagine how much it hurts to have 21 years together and suddenly feel like you don’t even know the person anymore. i went through that coldness with my ex too, and the hardest part was missing who they used to be while trying to understand who they were now.
brother, she had an affair and so did he💀 it's not a "suddenly" thing. Affairs create unrepairable distrust and damage, they both had it coming by doing each other dirty, poor decisions