Saw him 5 days ago. it wrecked me. but the next day wrote him an unsent letter, said it out loud to a picture of him, listened to sad music as I wrote it, cried as in WEPT, and WEPT. Feelng lighter and he is becoming more of a none-thing to me. though today in therapy my therapist noted that my emotions towards him have moved from anger to RAGE. Rqge that I don’t even quite know I have until I talk to him. So grateful I quit drinking this month. Maybe I’d pop some shit off. The anxiety of bumping into him has also gone. Starting to feel calmer and more grounded
Last updated on:2026-10-30T02:55:12+05:30
Comments (6)
is the rage making you feel like you want to confront him, or is it more like this wild realization of how unfairly he treated you?
the rage started boiling over was doing something physically exhausting to burn it off, like sprinting until my lungs hurt or smashing old plates in a box. letting your body release that fury keeps it from sitting inside you and turning into anxiety.
that exact shift when the sad crying turned into pure, burning RAGE, and standing in front of my mirror just screaming unsent letters at the wall because the anger had nowhere else to go. seeing them after days of no contact sets off an absolute bomb in your chest, but getting through that wave sober and letting the tears rip is HUGE.
i really like the idea of the goodbye letter and reading it outloud to a picture of him. I wrote her a goodbye letter but never thought to read it to her picture. I may try that, thank you for sharing this. And congrats to you for really trying to move on, dealing with the setbacks and getting yourself into a better place. you're doing good for yourself!
🥺
sorry I meant talk about him, not to him, and the anxiety is 100% gone but it’s like 98% gone. Praise God. I think seeing him, and his painful zero care towards me, did some kind of exposure therapy for me. I grieved and grieved. just the rage now. RAGE!!