We were together for 8 years. He abused me in every sense of the word— physically, emotionally, sexually, financially, and digitally. He stole from me. He lied to me. He gaslit me. He manipulated me. Yet i always stayed. I always forgave him. i always bent over backwards and did everything for him. I grew very resentful of the way he treated me. He never changed. I spent so much time begging him to love me, treat me right, and stop fucking me over. I tried so hard to make things work between us, but he just never changed. He would start to put in an effort whenever i would try to break up with him and then once he had me back he would go back to mistreating me. I just can't do it anymore. I left his apartment this morning and blocked him on everything. I don't feel like i am strong enough to do this. I just want us to be happy together, but i have to accept that if he wanted the same thing, he would have put in the work to change his behaviors. I feel weak. I feel like i am just going to go running back to him like i always do. I don't have a support system outside of him (and that is because everyone close to me left because i stayed with him after he started abusing me) I don't know what to do. I don't know how im going to get through this. But i know i can't continue to waste my best years with someone who doesn't respect, love, or care about me. :( </3
Last updated on:2026-10-28T01:19:25+05:30
Comments (15)
I stayed with someone who stole my joy my trust and my sense of self. But want you heal 👍
I know what it’s like to feel like you’re not strong enough to leave. I left her of manipulation and I cried for weeks thinking I’d made a mistake.
I know what it’s like to feel like you’re wastin your best years. I stayed with someone who didn’t love me for so long thinkin I could fix him. But love isn’t about fixing it’s about growing togther.
Uh know i remember the day I blocked him after abuse. I felt so weak like I was losin the only person who ever stayed. But then I realized… he wasn’t staying for me. He was staying for control.
HI I stayed with someone who broke me in every way too. Leavin felt impossible like I was ripping out a part of myself. But staying was kiling me slowly. You’re strongr than you think you already chose yourself by walking away. That’s the hardest part.
Hey it's seems like you really have gone through a lot and it may have taken its toll on you.You have taken the right decision to disconnect from toxicity and from your past.Keep going ahead, Moving on can be hard but sometimes its the only way
YOU ARE MORE THAN THIS!!!!! No one can tell you what to do
but at that age we teenagers. not that love isn't real because it is. but you are very very much aware of the negative impacts he and the relationship has on your life. I can relate to this becaise I was Him before. I've been abusive and I've been a cheater n I've been a piece of scrap to some people that did everything for me. n honestly it's nothing I'm proud of its just my truth and apart of my testimony. I am no longer that way however. in those moments I felt that the ppl would leave me if they didn't like what was happening but they stayed. n becaise they stayed I felt I had all power n control. n it sounds like your person feels this way. a PERSON WILL ONLY DO TO US WHAT WE AlLOW THEM TODO TO US! you don't deserve that now then nor in the future. he has some issues within that he needs to fix. and I'm a firm believer on not giving up on ppl but once a person continues to show you who they are . either u can accept it or not. today. I know I don't have to accept certain behaviors or accept a person mistreating me. I said ll that to say. I'm proud of you for leaving. n yes you are gonna wann go bk. but there's POWER IN THE NOT GOING BK. YOU HAVE MUCH LIFE AHEAD OF YOU. IM 36 N 1.5 WEEKS I WISH SOMEONE WOULDVE TRULY SAT ME DOWN N TOLD ME THIS LOVE ATUFF AINT NO JOKE. N TAUGHT ME BOUNDARIES. I JUST STARTED PRACTING HEALTHY BOUNDARIES AT 33 YRS OLD. I STOPPED BEING ABUSIVE A FEW YRS AGO. N I REGRET EVER BEING MUNIPULATIVE,CONTROLLING ABUSIVE MENTALLY PHYSICALLY. GRANTED ITS BEEN DONE TO ME. BUT WHAT MATTERS IS I LEARNED FROM THISE MISTAKES. N WASTIMG THE PRECIOUS LIFE God has given us on a person for what cause they change for a few weeks n then bk to the same them. no we are more than that today. he will miss what he had and realize he taken you for granted. it's never to late to start over. but your not starting from scratch. you got experience under ya belt,you knowledge under your built you've gained some insight. pros n cons list always work. sounds to me though juat my opinion. the best way to love this person is to let them go. I love you dear friend rootin for you. your stronger then you even know.
it takes something to be able to own up that you have been the person who caused hurt to someone.... that is a sureshot sign of growth and we have all been there but our egos can be so big.
thank you. i went back to him but im back trying to leave again. i want it to stick so so so bad. thank you for believing in me.
i feel you and i dunno what to say , just that you need to move on, you need to have the faith in yourself to be able to do it for your own future and life. Life is so precious, you are precious and you need to be proactive and take charge.
you didn’t deserve any of what he did to you he hurt you in every possible way and kept pulling you back just to stay in control. every time you tried to leave he acted nice just long enough to trap you again that’s not growth that’s a game. he lied stole broke you down and still expected your loyalty. you gave everything and he kept taking more. it’s ok to miss what you wished it could be but don’t forget what it actually was. he knew he was hurting you and still did it anyway. So no dont feel weak. do it for u this time. sending hugs.
we met when i was 14 and he was 15. we were friends first, but we made out one night and afterwards i asked him out but he rejected me. when i was 18 and he was 19, we reconnected and after a couple months of hanging out/fucking, he asked me out. i am 27 now and he is 28. i can't keep wasting these years on him. i want to get married one day, and i potentially want a family one day. i wanted that with him and he said he did too, but his actions showed me otherwise.
looks possible that that initial rejection had you hooked... dont waste any more time on him
@cinorra yeah i definitely agree. :/ i also have a lot of childhood trauma. my mom was very abusive to me and prioritized her boyfriends over me. the only relationships modeled to me throughout my entire life were also very abusive. so i think another thing that kept me coming back for more is my non existent self worth/self esteem and the fact that chaos and abuse is what is familiar to me. not that it is enjoyable but it feels 'normal' and when people are nice to me, respect me, and genuinely love/like me it feels uncomfortable bc i don't trust that bc i dont feel like i am lovable. i feel like i deserve the way he treated me or that it was my fault. he also would shift blame onto me any time i would try to communicate with him about how i didn't like the way he was treating me. when he would rape me in my sleep sometimes i would remember bits and pieces of it. when i would confront him the next day he would tell me he thought i was awake and/or that i initiated it. i couldn't remember very much of what happened, so i believed him. whenever he broke my ribs, strangled me, shoved me, or punched me in the mouth/face, he told me that he only reacted that way because i made him feel unsafe and he felt like he had to defend himself. and i believed him because all the times he physically abused me it was during/after a screaming match with each other. i was not a perfect girlfriend. i have an anxious attachment style and he has an avoidant attachment style. so i would kind of lose my mind when he would ignore me for days at a time. i would blow his phone up and act in ways that were very attention seeking. i feel guilty for this and feel like if he could forgive me and still want to be with me even though i am very clearly damaged, that i can forgive him for all of the bad things he did to me. sorry for this long ass rambling. i don't have any support system outside of him.
@emolegend you have to choose yourself now thats the choice you have got make its high time.