I think about him every nights and days even if the relationship was filled with abuse. It's been 7 days I blocked him everywhere and changed my phone number. It is for the best, but I do still miss him deeply and I do feel devastated by how it became to this.
Last updated on:2026-06-03T04:48:14+05:30
Comments (8)
i left an abusive relationship too and the part nobody warned me about was how much i’d still MISS him after blocking him everywhere. seven days is nothing when your heart got trained to survive chaos every day 💔
honestly, changing my number was the moment i finally stopped leaving little doors open for him to come back through, and even then i cried nonstop after. missing someone who hurt you doesn’t mean leaving was wrong.
thank you very much for this.
what was the final straw?
being victims of abuse i feel like the breakup is different. you fear this person but you still love them.
do you miss the version of him you kept hoping he’d become someday?
I guess it's mostly that.
​I totally understand how you feel because I, too, recently left an abusive relationship. Like you, I had to block him and change my phone number and email addresses. It is incredibly hard, and I just want you to know that it is completely okay that you still love him. That is a totally normal part of grieving.
​When my ex pops into my head, there is an affirmation I learned recently that I have to repeat to myself over and over. I want to share it with you exactly as it was given to me:
​"Our relationship has run its course. It was not meant to last a day longer or end a day sooner. It has expired."
​Please don't be too hard on yourself right now. I tried to leave my ex many times and failed before this, and it is a known statistic that it takes an average of seven to nine attempts for someone to safely leave an abusive relationship for good. If you have struggled in the past, or even if you find yourself faltering in the future, please extend yourself grace.
​Everything that happened was not your fault, and you do not have to carry this heavy weight all by yourself. There is so much support out there when you are ready to reach out:
​Community Resources: I highly recommend contacting a local women's center. The strongest thing you can do is ask for help. Through a women's center, I was able to access free trauma counseling and EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing), which was incredibly healing for me.
​Support Groups: There are free CoDA (Codependents Anonymous) groups that you can attend online or in person within your community.
​Guidance on this App: Don't hesitate to lean on the breakup coaches available right here on this platform.
​Insightful Reading: I found that reading books about abuse and trauma truly helped me understand both myself and my ex. A few books that might offer you clarity and comfort are:
​It's Not You by Dr. Ramani Durvasula
​Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft
​It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken by Greg Behrendt and Amiira Ruotola-Behrendt
​You are worthy of true, safe love just as you are. It is completely okay to take all the time you need right now to focus solely on you and your healing. Sending you so much strength—you are not alone.♥️